Good-bye Desk, Hello Future!

It’s not easy to go after your dreams. It’s not easy to say “no” to the easy and push for what you want. A dream can be anything- weight loss, houses, kids, travel. The list is endless and each of them are attainable. Sometimes reaching for your dreams means having the right platform to jump from.

I quit my job in Feb with the intention to never return to an office. At the time I hadn’t been accepted into school and I had no idea how I was going to fulfill my big dream shoes. I just knew I had to leave the office. After I got into Birmingham for my MA I knew I needed to fill my days, and my bank account, with work and a temp office job was the most logical. No one was going to hire me knowing I was leaving in six months. So once again I found myself sitting at a desk.

Today, at 4:30, that ends. The next time I will be at a desk I will own the company. Now is the time to dream big. It’s so exciting! I’m not sitting at a desk again. I’m not going to be a waitress. I’m not going to DJ parties for rich people. I’m not going to do anything that doesn’t move me forward creatively and artistically. I’m no longer sacrificing my dreams and goals for the easy.

This is a risky move, packing up everything and leaving for a year, but I know it’s the right move for me. I’m trusting this is where my life is supposed to go in order for me to fulfill my purpose on this earth. I have known for years that sitting at a desk is not for me so I’m taking the steps to change it. My dreams are going to come true. My dreams are reachable, attainable, and so completely doable it scares me.

When I walk out of this office at 4:30 today I’m not looking back. I’m not going to think about how I’ll pay my bills or have health insurance or work experience. I’m not going to think about the calming routine of a job where I don’t have stress or have to over extend myself. I’m going to walk out these doors and look to the future.

A future filled with promise and performing. A future filled with amazing food and wonderful friends who continue to support me. A future where I am in charge of my destiny and where I take myself.

These office jobs have served me well. They’ve provided a place to practice monologues and write my blog. They’ve given me supplies to print out resumes and submit myself. They’ve given me a safe and secure place to live. (Twice in my nomad life I have actually slept in the offices where I worked.) They’ve fed me. They’ve provided me lasting friendships. They’ve given me paychecks.
More than anything, they’ve given me a strong platform to jump from in order to reach for my stars.

Thank you, office jobs, for giving me a future to look forward to.

A Bejeweled Depression

Sunday I stayed in bed all day and slept. I should have weeded and cleaned and packed and maybe even eaten. But I didn’t. I slept.

Yesterday I stayed in bed all day and slept. I called in to work and spent the day in and out of dreamless sleep. No eating. No drinking. Nothing but sleep until rehearsal.

Today I went to work. And after catching up on all the “work” I had missed last week when I was away with my family on vacation (which consisted of 11 emails I have nothing to do with and 2 voicemails I have nothing to do with....I was gone for six days), I sat at my desk and played Bejeweled. For an hour.

An hour.

Here is a list of things I could have done instead:
- gone online and researched places to live in UK
- Emailed my advisor about how to get my visa and the steps I need to start working on
- Gone through my mutual fund and looked at stocks I’d like to diversify with
- Email my cousin and tell her about my upcoming move
- Gone on facebook and replied to everyone who has posted after a comment or on my wall
- Balanced my bank account
- Updated my calendar to include my new weekend plans
- Built a grocery list so I have food and can stop eating 7-Eleven taquitos
- Looked up flight prices for the trips I am taking in August
- Done an hour of stretching and abs
- Taken a walk
- Memorized lines from Seussical or Into the Woods
- Written in my journal about the Disney trip we just had
- Written an amazing blog about the changes coming into my life.

But no I spent it playing Bejeweled. Because my heart hurts and that’s all I want to do lately. I want to either be sleeping or mindlessly lining up gems and listening to them explode. I want to be sleeping or destroying. I don’t want to be productive. I don’t want to be exciting. I don’t want to be forward thinking. I don’t want to be here. I just want to be sleeping.

Or playing Bejeweled.

Easy Temping Day

I have complained about my jobs a lot in the past years. I truly hate sitting at a desk and wasting my life. You know that. However, now that I am set to begin school in the fall I have a new appreciation for my ability to sit quietly at a desk and wait for the clock to run out. I am temping again and it’s going well.

It helps that my boss doesn’t really pay attention to me here. It helps that he likes me a lot and thinks I can do no wrong. It helps that there isn’t a ton to do. It helps that the small amount of work there is to do, I’m over qualified for. And it helps to know that in two months I’m gone. I’m not stuck here. I’m not tied down to one place to work that I hate. I get to leave. And having an out makes dealing with the monotony so much easier.

Having a day like yesterday helps too. Here is the break down of my day, and one more reason why I can’t really complain about it too heartily.

8:45a- got to work 15 minutes late. I wanted to stop for coffee….so I did.
9:30-12:30- watched some hulu (Being Human, CougarTown (two episodes) and Glee)
12:45-1:45- took a nap in my car
2-4:30- watched more CougarTown and Modern Family
4:30- left work 30 minutes early because my boss was out of the office and my other co-worker had gone home

Let's not forget my hourly adventures on facebook, watching youtube videos and researching loans for school. And researching all inclusive vacations to Hawaii. It was a stupidly easy day. And I got paid to do it! Now, not all of the days are easy. There are days where I rush around and am a chicken all day. But they are worth it when a glorious Thursday pops up and I get to mentally relax.

So there you have it. I am only here for 2 more months. I can do this. Because I know that one day I will never have to sit at a desk again. And it will be all worth it.

And you? How was your Thursday?