Options Options Options!!

There is a saying here in England, “If you don’t like the weather, wait a few minutes. It will change.” With the upcoming change of visa requirements and the finish line of school in my sights (even if still months away) it seems like that sentiment is applicable to my plans as well. This sense of confusion, the need to have a plan, seems to radiate throughout the BSA Post Grads.

When I applied to BSA last year it was with the understanding that once a student has a Student Visa and completes their degree they can apply for, and receive, a working visa which will allow them to work full time and guarantee residency for two years. This coming April that is going to change. Students will have to get a job paying 20k a year and get a sponsor before they will be given a working Visa. This brings a lot of challenges, not the least of which is that in this economy not many people are going to be willing to offer a job to a temporary citizen when there are so many Brits out of work. It also lengthens the list of options for all of us.

The variations in these options brings me great joy and excitement. I’d be lying if I said there wasn’t a healthy amount of worry in there, but the majority of my energy lies in the idea that, once again, the world is my oyster. I get to start a new chapter in life! I have a new set of tools that ROCK and allow me a stronger leg-hold on the competition. Not to mention an amazing thesis and hopefully some published articles to feather my academic nest. 

Here are a few of the options out there:

• Move to London without a secure working visa. This means I get an apartment, find a job and audition the hell out of my life until 13 Jan 2013, when my visa expires, at which time if I don’t have a job I head back to the states. (Well let’s be real. I’ll probably spend a few months hiding out in Paris simply because I can.) The idea of living in London makes me smile, gives me a sense of excitement about what’s out there available to me. I can audition for the West End. I can audition for a tour. I can head down to Paris and find work as a voice-over actress. I can coach the American dialect with young actors here. There are options upon options out for me. This seems like the best option for my dream of winning a Tony. Get out there and use myself and my skills, take workshops and continue to grow and learn.
• Apply the working visa now, spend the money (about $1000) and give myself the option of staying as long I can. This is the more expensive option and doesn’t give me pressure to find work before my visa wears out. Seems like it would take away a piece of motivation. However, there is something comforting in the idea that I have two years without having to worry about getting kicked out of the country. I can take longer to find a job I enjoy, maybe audition instead of interview, and really enjoy being in the city. 
• Book a European tour. (Yes please!)
• Finish school and head to somewhere on the East Coast. I don’t want to lose my classical training and there is a world of great theater happening on the East side of the USA.
• Finish school and head back to California, find work and coach on the side.
• There is also the option of going back to school. I would love to get my MFA at San Diego University. That was my number one school choice last year during auditions and I know I did well when I met with them. However, now with a year of classical training behind me I have an even better shot. Here’s what I love about that plan: I LOVE SCHOOL! So the idea I’d get to continue learning, continue training, continue becoming this brilliant vessel of theater is intoxicating. 

How lucky am I?!!?


I have a little under 8 months before my thesis is due. I am still in the baby beginnings of my research. My first public workshop goes up in 4 weeks. I have yet to memorize a scene. There is so much to do before any of these listed options start to come in. But the idea that tonight I can sit here and daydream about where my life is going to go, that it doesn’t involve a desk or a CEO or Microsoft Outlook makes me happy, happy, happy.

The thought of my handsome Tony and his friend, the dashing Oscar, sparkling in the sun makes me happy, happy, happy as well.

Back in the Saddle Again

I arrived back in Birmingham Sunday and, needless to say, am still ridiculously jet-lagged. Last night in my three hour stage combat class I almost fell asleep three times. Thank goodness we spent the first half holding rapiers and daggers and the last hour punching each other in the stomach and kneeing each other in the groin. This morning is proving to be even harder. Song class is usually a great hour of my life, but today all I wanted to do was sleep. I'm currently sitting in the library on campus and seriously debating if anyone would notice if I took a quick kip behind one of the stacks. It's a college, they wouldn't mind, right?

The flight here was uneventful. As I get older, I'm finding my love of flying ebbing sigificantly. I will always fly, I will always travel. But more and more I have painful anxiety when we take off, I have awful flashes of panic when we fly (How are we 30,000 miles over the ocean right now? How are we not dropping into the deep?), and I am always eternally grateful when we land safely. I'm not certain where the next few years will lead me, but I am thankful I don't have to do any 10 hour flights for at least 7 months.

I am so happy to be back at school, but I am hate being so far away from the people I love. I miss my family so much. Don't be fooled, it was so much easier to leave LA when I wasn't seeing anyone. I didn't mind the weeks away because I was excited for a change and ready to live a different life. I also knew I was coming home in 10 weeks and I know I can survive almost anything for 10 weeks. This time I left and the man I love is still in CA. Long distance relationships SUCK! I want nothing more to see him every day and I am not going back to LA for at least 9 months. That is a LONG time! (I can have a baby in that time! Instead, I will get my masters. :)

A rambling blog of some rambling thoughts from a jet-lagged woman running on too much coffee and not enough veggies. Reminds me that I need to go grocery shopping tonight! I promise, the next blog will have life changing thoughts and probably a few interesting stories about what I totally forgot I love and loath about this city.

Until next time........have a GREAT day out there!

MA Brit Trad Day 1

When I left for school everyone ask to be kept up to date with what I'm learning and what I'm doing here. I had a few people ask for the reading list so they can "get smart too". My goal is to write a little bit every day, as long as there is something interesting to write about. The books we read are really interesting, so I def recommend them if you are looking for something to fill your brain. I'll also have a post this weekend about life here in the UK. Because it is a different country and I don't want to forget all the little things I see that make me go hmmmmmm.

Notes from day 1:

- Got to work on my scene with Sarah and Charles today. For our first assignment we were given a scene from "The Duchess of Malfi". If you haven't read it, I suggest it as a great play. Webster is violent with his plots, but gorgeous with his prose. He is one of Shakespeare's contemporaries and I love his work. Sarah and I are both working on the part of the Duchess and it's neat to see Sarah take on the scene and also to watch Charles work with both of us.

- After acting workshop Sarah and I sat on the steps outside the school and each read our books. It's neat to hang out with people who have as much work as I do and have the desire to work on it, no matter if there are other people around. It was really nice to sit together and read our books separately. It was really comforting.

- Second class of the day was Research Methodology where we learn how to do our final project, our thesis. It was a lecture class and kind of like all first day classes: filled with random info and the promise of more work the next time we meet. I'm excited about my research project and really excited to see what it actually becomes. So many options.

- Our last class of the day was stage combat. Today we worked on swordplay and I loved it! We got to work with the rapiers. I took a year of fencing in undergrad and really enjoyed it. I'm really excited to learn all the different ways to combat people on stage. Because we focus on Renaissance pieces of work this term, we are learning all the different ways and weapons used in that time period. We'll work with all the weapons we'll eventually come across in our careers as classical actors. (My career! Hooray!)

I had a really good day with everything. I'm exhausted, but thankfully it's still the first week so there is not a lot of homework yet and I can get to sleep before midnight. I have to memorize a ten minute scene and read a TON of books, but it will all get done. Tonight I got to Skype, Facebook and post my blog. Add that to the tradition of some good ice cream and I'd say today was a success.

Catch you up tomorrow!

8 Hours of Acting?!!?

At school we are given a schedule every Friday for the following week. They call the classes "modules" and the set up is pretty much the same week to week. When I get the schedule today (30 Sept 2011) for the following week I almost fall out of my chair. I look at Friday- 900-1300 Acting Workshop, then lunch, then 1400-1800 Acting Workshop.

8 HOURS OF ACTING?!!? In one day?!!? Who does that?


Apparently The Birmingham School of Acting.

I feel a real sense of panic. A sense of confusion and something that feels like defeat. I'm out of my league. I don't know what I'm doing here. How am I going to fill 8 hours of anything, except sitting on my ass in a chair? What would ANYONE do? Rehearsals usually aren't that long and even then you have an end result.

I feel I am completely out of my league here. There is a brief moment of panic and I seriously start to rethink the idea of spending 10 weeks in a place that forces me to act for 20 hours every week. Oh, did I not mention that before the 8 hours on Friday we have three, 4 hour blocks during the week? It's a lot of acting.

Dear Amie,

This is why you're here. This is why you're spending thousands of dollars. This is how you're going to change your life.

This is where you are meant to be.

Shut up and go to acting class.

Sincerely,

Future Amie

Damn, Future Amie can be quite bossy sometimes. And she's usually.....always.....correct.

The Awesomeness of Being a Grad

Walking around campus today I had the coolest feeling. I’m cool. Now, I’m a cool person for any number of reasons. However, my fellow students don’t know that....yet. At school, I am cool simply because I’m a grad student. That's awesome. 

When I was an undergrad at CSUF I adored the grad students. I thought they were these amazingly talented people who were going to change the theater world and could show me how it’s done. I admired their skill level and their ability to take risks. They were like this mystical, foreign being in my school life.

As I walked through the Birmingham School of Acting today, taking in the classes and the surroundings, I noticed undergrads watching me and sizing me up. Knowing who I was, but not knowing exactly what I was going to do at that school. Knowing that I was a grad student and was going to change the theater world. And blow their undergrad minds.

One girl came up to me as I was sitting, waiting for the rest of my classmates to finish getting IDs. She blushed a little as she asked me if I was in the MA program. I told her I was, and asked her what she was studying. She giggled and said “Acting Fundamentals” then turned heel and walked quickly away.

I smiled to myself, remembering exactly how she felt. Dumbfounded and wordless in the presence of greatness.

Alright, so maybe I’m romanticizing things a little bit. But whatever! I’m in friggin’ grad school!!! To some people in this world, I’ve made it.

Now it’s time to go change the world!

As soon as I get a bank account......

2011 Goal Check-Up

Happy July!! Know what that means? BBQs, pool parties, the final HP movie (oh my goodness) and this- Amie’s Goal Check Up

I did this last year and found it really helped take stock of the year. Let’s me look at where I’ve been and what I want to accomplish in the next 6 months. I always put out more goals than are probably possible. Not only are there only 24 hours in the day, there are outside influences that hinder or help the goals. Such is the case for this 2011 wrap-up.

Resolutions and Goals are different things. A few years ago I started separating them because I was overwhelming myself with resolutions and then upsetting myself when I didn’t achieve all of them. So I get goals. Some of these goals have been on the list for the past three years and still haven’t been accomplished. (Might be time to reevaluate my goals next year. Set something a little more attainable. But I am learning. I don’t have “Win a Tony” on the goal list this year.

Here are my resolutions for 2011:

Resolutions
- No fast food
- No Soda
- Workout 5x week
- One letter mailed every week

How have I done? Well really, really well for the first five months. Then it kind of all fell apart. Last year I did no fast food and never cheated. Not when I was stressed, sad, hormonally eating or anything. I stayed far away and for Christmas I got to eat In-N-Out. It wasn’t very good so I felt confident in putting that on my list again this year. June saw me eat all the fast food I’ve been wanting to eat. And I paid the price. Upset stomach, bloated feeling all the time and just icky. So, while I did enjoy the 11p In-N-Outs after rehearsal, the next 6 months bring me back to reality and away from the drive-through.

No had soda this year, minus the one day I was throwing up all morning and needed Sprite. But that doesn’t count. It was medicinal. I find that I don’t really miss it, unless I’m looking to mix my Jack with something. And since I always have a Jack and Coke on my father’s birthday, I will have one this month. But then back on the horse.

I have not gone to the gym, per se, 5x a week. But I do work out. Whether it’s rehearsal, a run before rehearsal or stretching while on break from rehearsal, I have kept this one up. Probably the only reason I haven’t gained any weight this year.

One letter mailed? Wow- that one didn’t even get off the ground. I need to get on this. I’ll take July off from worrying about it and then start again in August. I enjoy writing letters and would like to be better about it. However, it’s not going to break my heart if this resolution goes away in 2012.

And my goals?

Goals
- Down to 140lbs and maintain (HA HA HAAAA!! I had an amazing goal for this and absolutely no follow through. I even did a whole blog about it. And a Challenge. Guess what- the wedding is next week and I have not lost a single pound this year. I’ve slimmed out. I’ve toned up. But weight? Still holding strong. So I now have set the goal date as when I leave for school for the 20lbs and then maintain. That I can totally do!)
- Pay off 12k in debt (I have paid off a little over $5000 so far this year. Baby steps.)
- Repay Schwab for massage school (This is going to have to go on the back burner for the rest of the year. Much like my entire massage career.)
- Book a ship or Jubilee (Went to the Jubilee audition and rocked it. But no go. So this will have to wait another year)
- ROCK grad school aud, get accepted (DONE!!! Whew! Cross that OFF the list!)
- Book 5 shows (technically done. Anything Goes, All Shook Up, Seussical, Into the Woods and grad school. Not too shabby of a year)
- Edit movie reel (Also on the back burner. I no longer look, or act, the way I did 10 years ago and shouldn’t send out a reel that doesn’t show who I am now. This goal will be revisited in 2013 when I’m done with school and back in LA pounding the pavement. Unless I’m performing on London’s West End.)
- Run 6 marathons (Hmmm…..still time for this. I have done 1 this year, mostly due to the fact that I have been doing shows. I have run four ½ marathons, which is awesome. I am looking forward to running some beautiful races in Europe)
- New headshots (Again, not really needed right now. I don’t need them for grad school so I’m off the hook for the next year.)
- Straight As in SMC classes (I dropped my SMC classes for spring when I realized I wasn’t going to be able to take my three classes and do a show and work full time. And when I realized I wasn’t going to be a PT any time soon.)
- Write lounge act (Going to work on this in England. What better place to have a cabaret than in a city that doesn’t have a clue who I am?)
- Organize and maintain desk (HA! Again, not so much. It helps that I’m moving this week and it’s all just getting tossed into a box for another year)
- Write, finish, option 3 scripts (Nope)
- Get a dog (Nope. When I found out about school I realized this dream has to be on the back burner as well.)
- Book 5 movies (Nope)
- Buy a good car (YES!! I love my car and I hope I can keep her. She’s so cute!)
- Don’t get further into debt (I succeeded in this as well. Until now. I have a week without money so I’ll have to borrow from MasterCard a little. Oh, and there is the $40k school loan I have pending. That adds a little. But it’s good debt!)

There is the year so far. 17 attainable goals- 4 of which are no longer viable options and are off the list. I have completed 5, a little less than half. Gives me 6 moths to finish out the next 8. Totally doable.
I put this out there to keep myself accountable and to let people see that we all have little oops-s in our planning and goal setting. We all work hard and move forward and try to be better.

We are all in this together. What am I adding for the next 6 months?
- Get to England with great student loans
- Reprogram myself and the way I look at my dating life
- Be kinder to myself
- Successfully move in with Becca and create a wonderful place to live
- Create a student budget and stick to it
- Enoy the rest of the year. I'm taking a HUGE leap in September and all I can do is work hard and make the best of it. That is the ultimate goal.

Here’s to an amazing next 6 months and rocking the rest of 2011!!

Easy Temping Day

I have complained about my jobs a lot in the past years. I truly hate sitting at a desk and wasting my life. You know that. However, now that I am set to begin school in the fall I have a new appreciation for my ability to sit quietly at a desk and wait for the clock to run out. I am temping again and it’s going well.

It helps that my boss doesn’t really pay attention to me here. It helps that he likes me a lot and thinks I can do no wrong. It helps that there isn’t a ton to do. It helps that the small amount of work there is to do, I’m over qualified for. And it helps to know that in two months I’m gone. I’m not stuck here. I’m not tied down to one place to work that I hate. I get to leave. And having an out makes dealing with the monotony so much easier.

Having a day like yesterday helps too. Here is the break down of my day, and one more reason why I can’t really complain about it too heartily.

8:45a- got to work 15 minutes late. I wanted to stop for coffee….so I did.
9:30-12:30- watched some hulu (Being Human, CougarTown (two episodes) and Glee)
12:45-1:45- took a nap in my car
2-4:30- watched more CougarTown and Modern Family
4:30- left work 30 minutes early because my boss was out of the office and my other co-worker had gone home

Let's not forget my hourly adventures on facebook, watching youtube videos and researching loans for school. And researching all inclusive vacations to Hawaii. It was a stupidly easy day. And I got paid to do it! Now, not all of the days are easy. There are days where I rush around and am a chicken all day. But they are worth it when a glorious Thursday pops up and I get to mentally relax.

So there you have it. I am only here for 2 more months. I can do this. Because I know that one day I will never have to sit at a desk again. And it will be all worth it.

And you? How was your Thursday?

The Ambitious 5-Year Plan Needs Good Friends

I was talking with a friend this morning and they said they judge people by their own rules. I really liked that. Easier to mark people to their own standards instead of my standards for them.

We were talking about people who are ambitious and yet complain all the time about how much they hate their life and what they’re doing. We all know there is a difference between just having a bad day and truly hating your life. I know this as well as anyone.

I consider myself an ambitious person. I have big goals and big dreams. I wake up every morning thinking, some day I will have more than this. I know I will. There is too much in the world to do for me to be content with what I have. For a good two years I just complained. I hated my job. I hated where I lived. I hated that I wasn’t going anywhere. I hated that my dad was dead. I hated that I was single. I hated that I didn’t have a dog or a savings account or anything that showed I had been working my ass off for ten years. I felt like I was treading water and I was truly not happy. And I couldn’t see a way out. Then my best friend took me out to dinner one night and sat me down. He said I had to do something if I wanted to change my life. I needed to start taking the steps and trust they will go somewhere. I told him I was scared of making the wrong decision. He repeated words back to me that I have said in my life- “There is no wrong decision. Just different paths we can take.” At the time all I heard was “yadda yadda yadda” because I felt like I was at the bottom of a pit. Then I started taking some steps.

Little ones at first. I took a summer business class online. Loved it. Then I started truly looking at a 5 year plan. I am not a long-term planner kind of person. There are too many variables. But I knew some of the big ticket items I wanted and saw that I needed to get off my ass and get to it. Last summer I started taking steps to move my life into the one I wanted. I knew it would take some time. I knew the long term goals I had were just that, long term. And I needed to be patient, which is not easy for me.

I moved out of the place where I was living. I loved the family I was living with and leaving was a hard thing to do. But I had to make some changes and where I live is an easily changeable variable in my life. I took a few more online classes and started to narrow down my choices of careers. Then I started the ball rolling for grad school. This was the biggest step I could take. It was a leap. The same friend who sat with me and told me I had to take the steps to change my life was with me the whole time, gently reminding me that I was on the right track and was at least doing something. There were a few times I almost turned around and came home. But he held my hand (over the phone) and walked me through all the doubts and nerves.

In February I quit my steady job. I realized I was done being so unhappy. I was done being the person who hates her job. I was done being associated to an awful outlook on life. So without a backup, without savings and without any references, I quit and didn’t look back. It was the best decision I could have made. Because in March I found out that my hard work had paid off and I would be leaving for England in September.

All of this was pushed forward in my memory when I talked with my friend this morning. I am an ambitious person, and that isn’t a bad thing. I did complain (a lot) and then I made the choices to change what I hated. At the time they seemed like individual things. Small choices that weren’t really linked. But looking back on them as I look forward to my next phase of life I see that they all played a vital part in my plan. Without even knowing it I took the steps towards my 5 year plan. My highly ambitious, totally doable and completely malleable 5 year plan.

Good thing I have people in my life who guide me well, make me think and always believe in me. Just add that to the many things that make me a lucky girl.