Thursday, July 28, 2011

Brown teeth- pissed off actress

DO NOT USE CREST PRO-HEALTH MOUTHWASH!!!

DO NOT USE CREST PRO-HEALTH MOUTHWASH!!!

DO NOT USE CREST PRO-HEALTH MOUTHWASH!!!

Last night, after returning home from a wonderful day at the faire, I went to floss my teeth. I had eaten a LOT of food and wanted a fresh start in the morning. I looked at my bottom teeth and saw brown stains all over the sides. Dark brown stains that caused me worry. I looked like a smoker. My teeth are usually beautiful and clean, something I pride myself on. Yet here I was with teeth like a 90-yr-old tobacoo chewer.

Needless to say, I freaked out. I flossed, literally scraping the sides of my teeth in an effort to get the brown off. Nothing. I rinsed with Crest Pro-Health mouthwash (like I do twice a day, every day) and brushed my teeth for an extra 2 minutes. I went to sleep, hoping the problem was on it's way out of my life.

This morning the stains were still there so I went online. What did I find? Since 2008 there have been complaints to Proctor and Gamble about this product turning teeth brown. WHAT?!!? Websites all over the web had testimonies from people about how their teeth had turned brown after usuing the mouthwash.

I am livid. I emailed the company today and am writing this bog as more proof of how Crest screwed over their customers. Apparently there is a very small warning on the bottle, telling us there is a slight possibility of staining. That is useless to me. Who reads the BACK of a mouthwash bottle? Especially on a product from a company as respected as P&G?

Most of the posts from denists and consumers alike say I have to go in and get it profesisonally done. They say it's possible, but time consuming. However, I will also start using Listerine again (like I should have done in the first place) and brushing with baking soda, rinsing with peroxide. I cannot have permanently stained teeth. I have a career that is dependant on looks. I refuse to work my ass of to lose these next 20 lbs only to be benched by a teetch cleaning product.

Needless to say, I will not be using this product again. I will not use anything Crest again, and will think twice before buying anything P&G. I will also use every outlet in my power to make sure no one else uses it. Crest has lost my loyalty and my business for the rest of my life. I have to go to the dentist (without dental insurance) and pay for a cleaning, which I can't afford. Otherwise I'll have the teeth of a smoker. And who wants to hire a princess who looks like a smoker?

I am pissed. And disappointed in P&G. This will teach me to not trust big companies any more than I need to.

DO NOT USE CREST PRO-HEALTH MOUTHWASH!!!

Tuesday, July 26, 2011

Dating tips from the front lines – Part 2

I’m heading into another week on this ride known as life, and I have more to share about dating and boys. Last week proved to be a week of growing pains and I have no interest in any other singleton out there going through the same pain. I survived and you can too. Here we go:

- Blogging is not always a good way to get a guy on your side. My blog is funny and honest and walks the line of appropriate. However, if the guy you just made an example of gets his feelings hurt, maybe it’s too far. Or is it? After writing about my chance meeting last week the boy wrote me a letter explaining his side of things. He had read my blog and told me he didn’t realize how much I had been hurt by him not calling. It was obvious he was really upset and I have to admit I took a little comfort in that. He hurt me (a little) and I was glad he got to see my side of things. So lesson learned - write what you want to write, but be ready for the fall out. Be damn sure you are standing strong on your side of the story.

- Sending provocative pictures to someone you have never slept with is never a good idea. NEVER. Once you have a picture of them feel free to send and send and send. But you have to have something in your back pocket for when they feel jilted. You don’t want to be the only one without collateral.

- Women- STOP PAYING FOR YOUR MEALS!! If you are on a date, and it is called a date, DON’T PAY! It sounds sexist, 1950’s, and goes against everything we’ve been taught about independence and self reliance. But trust me. If you want to see this man again, if you want to actually date him, do not pay. No one ever got laid by going dutch.

- For women- Do NOT call him. Do NOT text him. Do NOT Facebook him. Do NOT tweet him. Leave him the hell alone. He knows how to get ahold of you, I promise. He knows where you are. And he will find you. If he doesn’t then he doesn’t want to. And who wants someone who doesn’t want them?

- For men- Do NOT call/text/tweet/post or anything to a girl you think is on the fence. All we see is communication. We don’t make the distinction between “friend I’m saying hi to” and “woman I want to sleep with”. Until the lines are clearly drawn, leave us alone please. We have other men out there who aren’t being vague and we need to leave the lines open for them.

- Sometimes men want meaningful conversations. The good boys want to connect with you. I know, it’s crazy. I was taught that you sleep with them first and THEN wrangle them into hour-long discussions about life. Apparently that is not the case with all men. Just be warned ladies. You might have to actually talk to them.

- Gay isn’t always gay. Straight isn’t always straight. Sometimes they are walking the fine line of undecided. All you need to decide is if it’s worth walking with them.

I hope this helps. I am certain there will be more. This summer is proving to be a learning experience in more ways than I ever thought possible. And I’m not even in grad school yet.

Happy hunting!

Sunday, July 24, 2011

Happy Birthday Papa

Happy birthday to the man I miss every day.

I love you dad! So very very much.

See you soon.

Friday, July 22, 2011

The Answer Waiting Room

I like instant gratification. I thrive on it. I like quickies and Netflix instant watch and pre-sliced veggies. I like things given to me when I want them, not on someone else’s time table. I like knowing the ending of a book before I open it, knowing if the guy gets the girl before I sit down to a movie and whether I’ll like what I ordered for dinner. Not to say I don’t like to try new things. I do. I love it. These new things are just usually at hand and ready, not something I need to wait for. This lifestyle works because I lived alone, am single, work alone and usually can make my own schedule. This need for instant pay off, the desire to have the answer yesterday, is something I nurture and despise at the same time.

The only time I do not mind waiting is when I’m sitting in a waiting room. I can patiently sit in a doctor’s office, at the post office, at the DMV, at an interview or a movie theater without expecting an answer. I even have patience if I wait and wait and then find out the meeting has been cancelled. I can’t control this change, so I just reschedule for a different time. It’s not a big deal. Made me think there should be a room in life where we go to wait, and the people we’re waiting to hear an answer from can meet us there and give it.

They would be called Answer Waiting Rooms and it would be wonderful.

The friend who stopped calling, stopped caring and just generally stopped being a friend to me would meet me there to give a reason. They would answer my questions. If they don’t show up? I get to move on. Because there’s a magic curtain I walk through as I’m leaving that makes it all okay. Makes me forget I wanted an answer at all.

The guy I’m waiting for knows that he has a certain amount of time to find me before the meeting is cancelled and I move on. And since I know that I can’t control whether he comes to the waiting room or not, if he misses the deadline I am free to move on. Walk through the curtain. No wondering “what if.” No imagining scenarios years in the future without anything to base the daydream on. If I’m ready for an answer and he’s not there to give it, I leave the waiting room and move on. What if it’s bad news? What if the guy I’ve been pining for walks into the room and says “no”? Well thank the gods! I have an answer! No more wondering. No more changing my life in expectation of something that isn’t going to come. No more “what if.” It would be glorious. Freedom to move on.

It would work in reverse too. I would get the chance to give answers. A letter comes to me, or a text, telling me to meet someone in their Answer Waiting Room. Telling me they need an answer from me and I have the choice to go or not. I would always go, because the frustration and the pain of not knowing is infinitely harder than dealing with the fall out of the truth. I would always go and would always be honest.

When my ex broke up with me I demanded he say the words. I knew it was over. I knew we were done and there was no going back. But I needed to hear it. I needed to hear the words come from his mouth that this was finished and there was no hope. I knew that if I didn’t hear those words from him in person I would spend too much time imagining a world where “This isn't going to work so I'm breaking up with you” means something else and there was still a chance. I knew that if I didn’t force him to do something painful I would waste more of my life in pain. It was exactly what I needed. I walked away from him with those words in my ears and my heart. I have replayed them in my head, reminding myself that the pain is real and the relationship is over. It was the loudest thought for weeks.

The Answer Waiting room is the safe place for life to happen. It’s filled with answers and conversations and reasons why, eliminating doubt and fear and frustration. “Do you like me as more than a friend?” “Why won’t you leave me alone?” “Why didn’t you call me?” “Do you see us going anywhere?” “Why wasn’t I enough for you?” It gives us all a jumping off point and allows us the freedom to move on and stop waiting.

Then one day we realize we don't need the AWR anymore. That we are enough, without knowing why. On that day we redecorate the room and use it as a home theater, invite our family and friends over and try take-away from the new Chinese place on the corner.

Monday, July 18, 2011

The Opposite of a "Cute-Meet"

Last night I went out with some friends to see a cabaret. The show was wonderful. It was touching and funny and reached deep into us as an audience and gave us something to believe in. I am always so happy to see my friends do what they love. However, because it’s my life, it couldn’t be just a night of live theater. There had to be some puzzle piece of intriuge. And I found it.

The cabaret was held at a theater in OC that is becoming more prominent in my world as I meet more actors and producers. One of the boys I’ve met this past year does a lot of shows there. I know this because I see him check in on 4square and on fb. (My stalking skills are amazing!) I’ll admit there was a part of me that truly hoped he would be there. I’ve spent time painting this amazing picture of him in my head, creating a god-like vision of a man who didn’t call me the morning after. We didn’t go all the way, obviously, but enough that when I drove home the next morning I thought for sure I would see him again. Apparently he thought differently, considering I never heard from him. Okay- I can handle that. It happens. Taking that into consideration, I’m not sure why this guy is even a part of my mentality. He doesn’t deserve it. However, he has been and I thought if I saw him I would be able to put the entire event to rest.

I walk into the lobby and of course zero in on him. My first thought? “Really Amie? THIS is who you were upset didn’t call you?” First off- he’s a baby! So young. And while my ego is pleased that I can still snag the cute ones, the adult in me is glad I don’t have to dress him. Secondly- he’s not as cute as I remember. Maybe because I’m sober when I see him this time. You know how some people get even more attractive the more you don’t see them? Then there are people who seem to get uglier as the days pass. He definitely did not get more attractive and he’s definitely not a god. He’s just…..a guy. Thirdly - he completely ignores me. No smile, no nod of hello, not even a faint blush and an embarassed turn away. I spend a few minutes saying hello to my friends, positioning myself so he gets a view of my outfit, my legs and flowing hair. I hug my friends extra hard as one by one I realize my strength comes from them and not the random boy in the corner.

He and I finally smile as the doors open and we head into the theater, but it’s obvious he is ackward and not sure what to do with me. Especially since I say hi to the woman (girl) he is now dating and make sure to introduce myself to his friends. You’re not going to get me down! No sir.

The biggest eye opener? The moment I hammered the final nail in the coffin of my obsessing? Later that night, on my way back to my table at the bar, I pass by him and make small talk. Nothing crazy or sexual or flirty. Just a conversation aknowledging we are in the same room together and have a history. He can’t even look me in the eye. He looks over my shoulder, gives me two word answers and just generally looks uncomfortable. While I continue my asinine conversation with him all I can think is, “Really?!!? I’ve seen you naked and you can’t even PRETEND to be interested in what I’m talking about?!” Amateur.

So how do I pay him back? I have a long conversation with his new girlfriend, right next to him. A much longer conversation than was needed. We talked theater and the cabaret and life and shopping and…..well just everything girls talk about. All while he sat at the bar, sweating, waiting for me to make my exit. I did, finally, and went back to my table of people. People I wouldn’t trade anything for. People who constantly remind me that I am enough. I am a strong, confident, empowered woman who cannot spend any more time dwelling on men who don't see that. Seeing the boy reminded me of that.

It’s the small moments, really, that show us the people who are worth our time and those who are really not. I’m glad I can confidently remove him from my list. (And Facebook. And 4Square) Now, if I can only get rid of a few more I will be all set.

Wednesday, July 13, 2011

Too much?

Last night, as I was driving home from rehearsal, I realized that I now have a bathtub and can take a bath. I decided I was going to take one, offering my poor muscles some time to rest. The idea of taking time for myself, a few moments of just sitting, brought tears to my eyes and I realized that maybe I am trying to do too much.

The schedule I’ve been keeping these past few weeks isn’t the smartest idea I’ve ever had, but I love theater and performing so I didn’t think too much about it. This is my career. It’s going to be like this my whole life. However, for as wonderful as live theater is, there remains a hole in my heart that I am trying to fix. So I keep piling on things; a garage sale, parties with the cast, breakfast with friends, late night drinks with cute boys, phone calls while I’m driving- all in the effort to connect with people. I’ve been on facebook more these past few weeks than my entire life. I check in on foursquare so I can see what people are doing. I write my blog to share my life with someone. I need to connect, because for as busy and wonderfully full as my life is right now, I feel empty inside. The final straw was signing up for an online dating site specifically to try to find a connection to fill this hole.

As I drove home last night I realized that being online looking for a date was just silly. (That’s a lot of realization for one drive home.) I don’t have any of myself to give anyone. Why would I offer that? Why wouldn’t I wait until I have time to spend with someone, and if I’m honest with myself, my heart to give to someone? Why, yet again, am I willing to put my needs aside for a relationship? Why am I trying to start something when I’m not fully present, ready to accept all the good that is out there in my life?

All these thoughts swirled in my head as the tub filled and my iPod played my massage therapy mix. I sat there, covered in lavendar scented bubbles, steeping my aching muscles in epsom salt, and I cried. I cried silent tears that ran down my face without me having to wipe them dry. I cried that cry that isn’t for anything in particular, but needs to happen. I cried the cry that men hate because they can’t fix it. I cried tears that didn’t give me a headache or leave me gulpping for air, but rather left me with a sense of peace.

When I woke up this morning I had a new sense of calm in my life. Yes, I have to figure out how to fit a one bedroom apartment into one bedroom. Yes, I have to move all my things with only my little Ford to help. Yes, I need to figure out how to pay for school and credit debt and my car while not working for a year. Yes, I need to memorize an entire show. Yes, I need to lose weight.

But today all I need to do is remember to breathe. It will all get done. It won’t get all done today. It won’t even get done this week. But my life is my life and I need to enjoy it. It is possible to enjoy it without having to find a date, see my friends every second or fill every moment of the day with someone just to be doing something. I am doing well in this life, and I don’t need someone else in it to make me feel fullfilled.

One of my favorite quotes is “God can’t steer a parked bus.” What I am learning is he also can’t steer a bus that is careening out of control with no one at the helm. I need to take back control, I need to take a moment and I need to remember that at the end of the day, it’s just life. It’s my life.

Tell yourself, how lucky you are.

Tuesday, July 12, 2011

Online Dating - Day 1

I signed up with a free online dating service simply to see what's out there and to entertain myself while I'm at work. I know I'm probably not going to actually date these men, but it doesn't hurt the ego to get 22 responses about how gorgeous my profile picture is. It is proving to be quite interesting, meeting lonely people online who are bored like I am.

My favorite moment so far:

A guy "quick messaged" me to tell me I was gorgeous and we would make pretty babies. I politely wrote back, thank you but I'm not interested in having kids right now. He replied that I should stop leading people on.

Umm......What?