Yesterday I got a temporary crown put on my top left molar. That makes a total of 2 temps, one on each side of my mouth. Instructions while wearing temporary crowns include no eating anything crunchy (popcorn, chips, raw veggies, nuts), no eating anything hard, no eating anything chewy (taffy, gum, gummies, licorice, etc) and nothing I think will pull the temporary off. Being an extremist about things, I decided to go totally soft foods- no chewing at all. Plus it’s easier for me to just go all out. I’m not good with moderation. The pain of the procedure might also have something to do with it. My mouth still hurts from Friday’s visit and when I attempted chewing soft cheese on one of the sides I flinched in pain. So no chewing it is.
I thought to myself, lying there in pain, drooling and waiting for the mold to set, “What a great time to lose these extra stubborn lbs and I’ll blog about it!” It’s only two weeks and I’m sure I’m not the only one in the world who has had to live like this. So for the next two weeks I will write every day and talk about the day, how I handled my routine with this huge change, what I ate, and how I’m feeling about it.
Yesterday (Monday) I left the dentist’s office feeling like I’d been hit by a bus. The entire left side of my face was numb with the Novocain and I was exhausted from sitting the chair for over 2 hours, cold and tense. Harry Potter is tge only thing that saved me. I went back to work and sat at my desk, fairly miserable for the rest of the day. I didn’t eat anything until around 2p, when I slurped down a yogurt and a hot (lukewarm) chocolate. By the time I got to my car to drive to rehearsal I was even more tired, and starving. My drive to rehearsal, which is 23 miles away, takes about an hour with mild traffic. (One more reason to get OUT of Los Angeles, but that’s a different story.) I usually make my dinner and eat it as I drive- a sandwich, veggies and dip, almonds and string cheese. Something to keep my mind busy while I sit stalled on the freeway. Yesterday I ate peanut butter. Small spoonful after small spoonful of organic creamy peanut butter. And it worked! I was full, wasn’t bored and didn’t hurt my teeth. At break during rehearsal I tried to eat some veggie soup. No luck. Even the softened veggies were too much to take on. I drank as much broth as possible and then dumped it. I knew I would have to head to the grocery store and rethink, and rebudget, my food for the week.
I went to Ralph’s on the way home. Thank goodness for 24 hour stores! I walked around the store, hungry, and kept having to pull myself away from anything I would have to chew. It's not an easy task. Nor a cheap one. I filled my cart with four large protein smoothies, 5 yogurts, 3 tubs of ready to eat mashed potatoes, tomato soup and frozen yogurt. $55 later, I was set at least for four days. Not a cheap diet to be on. I ate one of the yogurts in the parking lot before I left. It’s now midnight and going for 6 hours without eating is never a good idea. I got home and had a small serving of frozen yogurt to quench my still growling stomach and then went to sleep.
Day 2:
Woke up this morning and weighed myself. A healthy 164lbs. Too much for my frame, even considering the extra weight of toned muscles. Have to lose this belly so my already high risk of heart disease doesn’t get any worse. I had a smoothie for breakfast and then again for my snack. Things are actually going alright. I have 3 more hours of work to go and then rehearsal. I had a non-fat, plain greek yogurt with honey for lunch and a glass of V-8 low sodium veggie juice. I’ll have a hot chocolate and coffee at about 3p, some jello (I work at a hospital and jello is always available), the frosting off a cupcake at my good friends’ afternoon birthday celebration and then one of the mashed potato tubs to entertain me for the drive home. Not ideal meal, but it’s going to taste sooooo good.
Tonight I’m also going for a 45 minute run, so we’ll see how I feel after that. I’m taking my now veggie-less soup to eat as my snack during rehearsal and I still have the jar of peanut butter sitting in my passenger seat for the drive home. I’ll do swimmingly.
The goal for these two weeks:
- Not chew anything so my teeth have a fighting chance to heal and get ready for the permanent crowns
- Eat healthy and keep the low-no dairy and low-no sugar
- Watch how my body reacts to the no chewing diet. Is my tummy happier? Do I stay full longer? Do I have more bowel movements? Less?
- Lose at least a few pounds of honest to goodness weight, not water weight
- Not lose any friends or co-workers with my inability to maintain a conversation because all I want to do is chew on something
- Prove to the nay-sayers in my life that I CAN follow doctor orders and I will succeed in this
I’m always excited for new challenges and I LOVE a goal. Two weeks is totally doable. Even adding in training for my marathon and teching, then opening, a vocally difficult show, I know I can go these weeks without chewing anything.
Long live mashed potatoes and pudding!!
Tuesday, July 27, 2010
Wednesday, July 7, 2010
Biological what?
This weekend I went home and held the new baby. A lot. I also got to hang out with my 13-yr-old sister a lot. She continues to amaze me with her personality and her genuine niceness. She is a good girl. She's a good addition to this world. With everything she has been through (divorce, dad’s death, and drama with the step-sister) she continues to amaze me with her positive outlook on life, her love of people and her desire to do good in this world.
Between those two things (baby and teenager) I got a flash of desire I haven’t had before- to raise a good child. I saw myself as a mom in a house with a kid and a dog and family dinners and life lessons. I saw myself sitting in an audience at their graduation. I saw myself sitting in the pews at their wedding. I saw myself as a grandmother, making macaroni pictures and clay horse sculptures. I have never had those images flash through my mind before. And I have never been so at ease with the thought before.
In years past I have not wanted children for a number of reasons. I don’t believe in putting more stress onto our environment. That’s a big one. I always said I would adopt a baby when the time came. I didn’t want the pressure of being responsible for another life. I didn’t want the hard life of never knowing what was going to happen and worrying every second of my life. But mostly I didn’t want to have a child because I didn’t want to see the life I wanted to live be played out in another person’s life. I know that is selfish. It’s totally selfish. But it’s true. I want to go to college again. I want to have my first boyfriend and my first date and my first “promise ring” again. I want to have that freedom of the world being at my finger tips and I just need to go get it. I didn’t want to see someone else get the life I wanted.
Isn’t that just silly? Kids add to life. Families enrich life. My family is why I can’t seem to make up my mind what I want to do with my life. The bond I have to my family is what keeps me in California, keeps me close to home and keeps me driving up and down the state all year long. My family is what brings me to tears at night when I’m lying alone and questioning what the hell I’m doing. My family is also the support that I need to be able to go do what I want. The support I have when I feel like I have nothing. And growing that family, being closer to that family, is the most important thing to me.
So, the biological clock? The thing I thought was a myth and that I would be able to silence the call? Not so much. I feel the pull. I feel the desire to share my life with someone. I probably won’t have a child because of the reasons I stated before. I have a lot I want to do in this life. There is a whole world I want to see. I want my MFA and my MBA and a good job and a dog and a home. But the ticking is getting harder to silence as the years go by and I realize that time is running out. There’s no other way to think about that. And harder to silence as I realize that maybe the life I think I want will only be enhanced when I have someone to love so fully my heart explodes. Then I’ll help them pick out the best colleges and date the right people.
Between those two things (baby and teenager) I got a flash of desire I haven’t had before- to raise a good child. I saw myself as a mom in a house with a kid and a dog and family dinners and life lessons. I saw myself sitting in an audience at their graduation. I saw myself sitting in the pews at their wedding. I saw myself as a grandmother, making macaroni pictures and clay horse sculptures. I have never had those images flash through my mind before. And I have never been so at ease with the thought before.
In years past I have not wanted children for a number of reasons. I don’t believe in putting more stress onto our environment. That’s a big one. I always said I would adopt a baby when the time came. I didn’t want the pressure of being responsible for another life. I didn’t want the hard life of never knowing what was going to happen and worrying every second of my life. But mostly I didn’t want to have a child because I didn’t want to see the life I wanted to live be played out in another person’s life. I know that is selfish. It’s totally selfish. But it’s true. I want to go to college again. I want to have my first boyfriend and my first date and my first “promise ring” again. I want to have that freedom of the world being at my finger tips and I just need to go get it. I didn’t want to see someone else get the life I wanted.
Isn’t that just silly? Kids add to life. Families enrich life. My family is why I can’t seem to make up my mind what I want to do with my life. The bond I have to my family is what keeps me in California, keeps me close to home and keeps me driving up and down the state all year long. My family is what brings me to tears at night when I’m lying alone and questioning what the hell I’m doing. My family is also the support that I need to be able to go do what I want. The support I have when I feel like I have nothing. And growing that family, being closer to that family, is the most important thing to me.
So, the biological clock? The thing I thought was a myth and that I would be able to silence the call? Not so much. I feel the pull. I feel the desire to share my life with someone. I probably won’t have a child because of the reasons I stated before. I have a lot I want to do in this life. There is a whole world I want to see. I want my MFA and my MBA and a good job and a dog and a home. But the ticking is getting harder to silence as the years go by and I realize that time is running out. There’s no other way to think about that. And harder to silence as I realize that maybe the life I think I want will only be enhanced when I have someone to love so fully my heart explodes. Then I’ll help them pick out the best colleges and date the right people.
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