I always liked the cartoon version of this movie. The adnimation is hand drawn and rough. The characters are easy to love (except the Grinch at the beginning, of course) and the colors are soft. I liked to think about the people who got to draw the characters every day and make the cartoon. It seemed like a work of love and true caring about the story.
Growing up, this movie would come on at a random time one night during December and my family would stop everything and watch it. It was a short movie, filled with plenty of commercials so we could fill up out hot chocolate and cookies. On a few rare occasions it would come on while we were decorating the house, or shortly after. On those nights we considered ourselves double lucky. We never planned on watching it, but every year we were able to catch it. I love the basic story of how deep down, all people are actually good. Even Grinches.
When they came out with the live action version in 2000 I was really excited. I like Ron Howard a lot and am a Jim Carrey fan. The previews were fun and I loved the vivid colors of Whoville. The supporting characters are fun and are each given a little time in the spot light. It was fun to watch for the first time and try to decipher who was each Who! I like how The Grinch has a back story and full emotions. We get to see how he became who he is, and can see how we are all one bad holiday away from throwing in the towel.
When you watch this movie, you are already forced into Dr. Seuss’ imaginary and exciting world so you have to be ready for everything it throws at you. Be ready for the prat falls and the over the top comedy of Carrey. Be ready for the heart tugging puppy-dog eyes of Cindy Lou. Be ready for the tear drop that will inevitably fall when the snow comes down and you suddenly realize that sometimes you’re a Grinch too. And maybe you need to rethink how you look at the holiday and the people you share it with. We all want to be a Who- true, good, honest and pure of heart. This movie always makes me cringe at the mean-hearted-ness of The Grinch and vow to treat people with more patience and care.
I hope you enjoy this movie! Faith Hill sings one of the classics of the 21st Century holiday seasons. This movie is worth the time.
Enjoy and Happy Holidays!
Sunday, December 5, 2010
Saturday, December 4, 2010
Santa Palooza Day 4 – Miracle on 34th Street
1947, 95 minutes
This holiday classic came into my radar years ago simply because of its name. Everyone knows the story of the Macy’s Santa who really is Chris Kringle. I vaguely remember my mother talking about this movie as one she loves. Being a black and white, I assumed she liked it. After all, she’s the person who introduced me to “It’s a Wonderful Life” which we’ll watch later this month. Then when I lived in New York I came to love the movie even more. Especially when I went to see the large balloons on Thanksgiving and walked the route the annual parade takes. I felt even more connected to the single mother in the movie who wants her child to grow up without the heartache she lived through.
But the magic of this movie is that Santa works through all our heartbreak. (Okay, before that is the brilliance that is Edmund Gwenn. His delivery of the script is spot on. His Santa isn’t cartoonish or overly jolly. He’s relatable and loveable and so smart. He should have a Santa advice book.) Santa is there to hug you and comfort you and keep the magic of the season alive. Of course it sounds crazy, especially in a world where people can forget magic so easily. Santa has a hard job and we don’t make it any easier.
I think that’s why I did Christmas so full out this year. I want to believe. I DO believe in the magic of Christmas. I believe this is the time of year people can change and grow and learn. I believe in the power of family and love and friendship. I believe in the excitement of opening presents and of giving the perfect gift. I believe in the commercializing and the over buying and the simplifying. This movie helps with all of that.
Because who doesn’t want a Santa Claus in their life that looks to the good of the people, not just the good of himself.
Enjoy and happy holidays!
Friday, December 3, 2010
Santa Palooza Day 3 – Love Actually
– Rated PG-13, 135 minutes Some sexual situations and bad words
I was aware of this movie when it came out, but for some reason I didn’t rush out to see it. Years went by and it became a staple for people. And yet, I had no interest. I think the trailer pushed me away. I just didn’t like the feel of it. Maybe I felt it was too busy or something along those lines. Two years ago I was talking to one of my best friends and he mentioned that it was his favorite movie. Well that sold it for me. We sat down and watched it and it has been a holiday staple ever since. I love that it is set in England and I can pretend to be part of an international love story. It doesn’t hurt that the people are beautiful and the colors literally pop off the screen.
This movie reminds me of the person I love and would not live without. He LOVES this movie and through that love I have come to love it as well. This movie reminds me of us sitting, holding each other, and watching it, knowing that we are lucky enough to have this moment and each other.
But more than just my love, it’s a love story for every relationship I’ve ever been in. And every relationship I will be in. Because relationships come and they go. And we would be ignorant to think our lives are not marked with the passage of time and with it the change time brings. There is a piece of me in every story in this movie. Just like there is a piece of everyone. We have all loved. We have all lost. We have all been at the end of our rope, ready to throw in the towel of relationships and just live with our pizza and beer. But we get through it and we remember that there is love at the end of every tunnel. And the pain and effort is always worth it.
It’s not everyone’s plan to get married and have babies. Many of us enjoy our single life and thrive in only dealing with our personal schedules. But no one can live without love. No one can live without touch and passion and caring and excitement and the knowledge that there is someone out there who cares whether you live or die, whether you call or not, and whether you’ll be home for dinner or not.
Love is easy. Love is difficult. But more than anything, love is vital. I hope everyone out there has someone to love this holiday season. Not necessarily a romantic love. The love of a baby, a sibling, a friend or even a four footed companion is all we need to get through the cold lonely nights of winter.
Happy Holidays!
I was aware of this movie when it came out, but for some reason I didn’t rush out to see it. Years went by and it became a staple for people. And yet, I had no interest. I think the trailer pushed me away. I just didn’t like the feel of it. Maybe I felt it was too busy or something along those lines. Two years ago I was talking to one of my best friends and he mentioned that it was his favorite movie. Well that sold it for me. We sat down and watched it and it has been a holiday staple ever since. I love that it is set in England and I can pretend to be part of an international love story. It doesn’t hurt that the people are beautiful and the colors literally pop off the screen.
This movie reminds me of the person I love and would not live without. He LOVES this movie and through that love I have come to love it as well. This movie reminds me of us sitting, holding each other, and watching it, knowing that we are lucky enough to have this moment and each other.
But more than just my love, it’s a love story for every relationship I’ve ever been in. And every relationship I will be in. Because relationships come and they go. And we would be ignorant to think our lives are not marked with the passage of time and with it the change time brings. There is a piece of me in every story in this movie. Just like there is a piece of everyone. We have all loved. We have all lost. We have all been at the end of our rope, ready to throw in the towel of relationships and just live with our pizza and beer. But we get through it and we remember that there is love at the end of every tunnel. And the pain and effort is always worth it.
It’s not everyone’s plan to get married and have babies. Many of us enjoy our single life and thrive in only dealing with our personal schedules. But no one can live without love. No one can live without touch and passion and caring and excitement and the knowledge that there is someone out there who cares whether you live or die, whether you call or not, and whether you’ll be home for dinner or not.
Love is easy. Love is difficult. But more than anything, love is vital. I hope everyone out there has someone to love this holiday season. Not necessarily a romantic love. The love of a baby, a sibling, a friend or even a four footed companion is all we need to get through the cold lonely nights of winter.
Happy Holidays!
Thursday, December 2, 2010
Santa-Pallooza Day 2- The Holiday
Santa-Pallooza Day 2 – The Holiday (2006, PG-13, 138 min) Adult situations, bad language and adult themes. There isn’t nudity or death, but it is an adult movie.
Last night I watched “Elf” and laughed and laughed. It is such a comforting movie and a great way to start out the season. It throws Christmas at you! I love the colors and the humor and the story of turning someone from the Naughty List to the Nice List. The biggest thing I take away from that movie, however, is how friendly and honestly good Buddy is. He truly loves everyone and cannot find fault in anyone’s actions. Even when his dad snaps at him, pushes him away and sends him to the mail room, Buddy sees the good and continues on with his unfailing happiness. His reaction to things always make me pause we realize that sometimes all a situation needs is a smile and a hug. Nothing is that important. And nothing is too important to take the time to smile and hug.
Tonight I (and maybe you too) will watch The Holiday with Kate Winslet, Jack Black, Jude Law and Cameron Diaz. This movie is set during the holidays and tells the story of two women troubled with guy-problems. They swap homes in each other's countries, where they each meet a local guy and fall in love. It follows them as they get over their ex and move on to a better match. It’s no secret what happens and who ends up with whom. But the interaction with all the characters and their heartfelt desire to just have a holiday filled with love is a great story for the season. I don’t really like Cameron in this movie, but she has great scenes with Jude so it’s worth it. You could literally melt in his eyes in this movie. He is charming and quietly perfect. Kate is amazing with her ability to break your heart subtly and yet remain strong. And Jack charms you with his humor and kind heart. You start to believe there are actually good guys in Los Angeles. There is something in each of these characters that people can relate with and ultimately strive towards.
I watch this movie every year because it reminds me to believe in true love and finding the right person for you at that moment, then trusting it’s the right person for you forever. I love the layout and pure gorgeousness of the LA house (I want it!) and the scenic beauty that is the small English village where Cameron ends up. For a few hours I get to leave my cramped apartment with no snow and live in a world where happy coincidences lead to an obtain-ably magical Christmas.
Enjoy and Happy Holidays!
Last night I watched “Elf” and laughed and laughed. It is such a comforting movie and a great way to start out the season. It throws Christmas at you! I love the colors and the humor and the story of turning someone from the Naughty List to the Nice List. The biggest thing I take away from that movie, however, is how friendly and honestly good Buddy is. He truly loves everyone and cannot find fault in anyone’s actions. Even when his dad snaps at him, pushes him away and sends him to the mail room, Buddy sees the good and continues on with his unfailing happiness. His reaction to things always make me pause we realize that sometimes all a situation needs is a smile and a hug. Nothing is that important. And nothing is too important to take the time to smile and hug.
Tonight I (and maybe you too) will watch The Holiday with Kate Winslet, Jack Black, Jude Law and Cameron Diaz. This movie is set during the holidays and tells the story of two women troubled with guy-problems. They swap homes in each other's countries, where they each meet a local guy and fall in love. It follows them as they get over their ex and move on to a better match. It’s no secret what happens and who ends up with whom. But the interaction with all the characters and their heartfelt desire to just have a holiday filled with love is a great story for the season. I don’t really like Cameron in this movie, but she has great scenes with Jude so it’s worth it. You could literally melt in his eyes in this movie. He is charming and quietly perfect. Kate is amazing with her ability to break your heart subtly and yet remain strong. And Jack charms you with his humor and kind heart. You start to believe there are actually good guys in Los Angeles. There is something in each of these characters that people can relate with and ultimately strive towards.
I watch this movie every year because it reminds me to believe in true love and finding the right person for you at that moment, then trusting it’s the right person for you forever. I love the layout and pure gorgeousness of the LA house (I want it!) and the scenic beauty that is the small English village where Cameron ends up. For a few hours I get to leave my cramped apartment with no snow and live in a world where happy coincidences lead to an obtain-ably magical Christmas.
Enjoy and Happy Holidays!
Wednesday, December 1, 2010
Santa-Pallooza Day 1- ELF
Santa-Pallooza 2010 Begins!!
Christmas time makes me an even more avid movie watcher. I watch probably 5 movies a week during a normal week in my life. Some in the theaters. Some on my portable DVD. Some through the brilliance of Netflix Instant Watch. I love the world movies create. December brings a new love of movies to my life. I love holiday movies and every year there are more and more to add to the list. It is hard to keep it at only 25!
I watch a holiday movie daily to get me in the holiday spirit and wrap my head around the craziness that is December. I started this tradition a few years ago and I LOVE IT! This year I decided to add in my facebook friends and my blog to make it a little more interactive and get everyone involved who wants to be. I’ll post them five at a time so you have time to get them from Netflix or the movie rental place. (See- THIS is why Blockbuster can’t go out of business!) Each day I will write about what the movie means to me and why I chose it. I’ll post things to look out for and how long the movie is, as well as what age group it’s appropriate for. Kind of like a Christmas movie guide….filled with my opinions.
I hope you enjoy it. Here are the first five movies:
- Elf (12/1)
- The Holiday (12/2)
- Love Actually (12/3)
- Miracle on 34th Street (12/4)
- How the Grinch Stole Christmas (200 and/or 1966) (12/5)
So join me if you can. Truthfully, I hope I am able to keep up with it. I know I can, so here is the test. And it’s good practice because my goal for 2011 is to take on a big project and make it happen. More on that later.
Elf- Wednesday December 1 Santa-Pallooza Movie #1
(95 minutes, rated PG) No bad words, no sex, no scary, no villans, no violence. The PG is for the adult humor.
Tonight I am cleaning my house and getting it ready for my Christmas tree, which I’ll get on Sunday. I have to move boxes and make a space for it. In fact, I might just put the tree ON boxes since it will only be about three feet high. But I have some amazing ornaments that I want to get some tree time this year. So a tree it is. Plus I want the smell of a fresh tree. And the glow of the tree lights as I fall asleep every night. I am embracing Christmas this year, and a tree is the best way to do it. Having “Elf” on in the background as I do it is going to be the icing on the gingerbread.
I saw Elf for the first time when I was working on Main Street in Disneyland in 2004. It had come out the previous year so John brought in the DVD backstage for us to watch during our breaks. It was perfect! We sang in octets on Main Street so the green room was filled with carolers laughing at the craziness of Buddy the Elf. Soon, since we watched it every day for weeks, we were able to quote him and no place was safe from Elf nonsense. Since then the movie is a Christmas staple in my life. John (my tenor for over three years with the same sense of humor as me) and I would pull random quotes out of the air during the season and we wouldn’t even have to look at each other to know where the conversation was going. It is a uniting movie, and even the most skeptics of movie watchers eventually succumb to the brilliance of Buddy’s humor. “Ooh what’s a skeptic? I want one!” I’m sure having the TV run it every day has played a big part in wearing down people’s resistance.
Enjoy and Happy Holidays!! See you tomorrow!
Monday, November 22, 2010
Birthdays Should Be A Week Long!
Some people can argue that my birthday started with my trip to Greece. It was two weeks off work, an international vacation and totally selfish use of time and money. But in reality, that trip was a celebration of years of hard work and running miles put in. It was a gift to myself for the hours I don’t like my job or my path in life. A year of paying off bit by bit so I could go to Greece with money in my pocket and no trip debt. And I’ll admit that on more than one occasion I treated myself to a little something extra by saying “It’s my birthday so I’m going to….” But in reality, my birthday has been the past week and I can honestly say I haven’t felt this loved in a really long time.
This year I have been given the gift of a week of celebration and by the end of this week I will have seen everyone I can fit into a schedule. Its started Thursday night when I was treated to a movie night with my movie buddy, Eric. We went to the midnight showing of Harry Potter 7.1 and I LOVED IT!! Totally worth only getting 3 hours of sleep the next night. They Friday was our dress rehearsal for Family and Friends. Every year my caroling group does a concert, and it always falls on the weekend of my birthday. So a few years ago we started doing “Amie-Palooza” and making an event out of it. I know people won’t usually come out and play unless there is a reason. So I gave them one. And I have been right every year. Friday we went to Hero’s, a bar in Fullerton. We ate nachos and drank beer and laughed and had a really good time. It’s a different group every year and I love getting to hang out with everyone.
Saturday we had our first caroling gig and then I got to go see Eric perform his firs Jedi Elvis concert. It was so awesome to go support a friend in his dream. And he was really good. Don’t be surprised when Jedi Elvis is on iTunes and booking Las Vegas. This is going to go somewhere! Then Saturday night was the concert and I got to hang out with all my caroling people. It was so good. I love this group so much. The concert was awesome and the two new songs we did rocked the house and made them laugh. It was a good thing. Then we headed over to El Torito for some Mexican food and margaritas. Both were good, but the company was better. It was a large group of us and as I sat there and looked around at all these people I share my life with, I felt very blessed.
Sunday I did a benefit for Fullerton Civic Light Opera and got to spend a part of my birthday weekend with some new people. The event went very well, took lots of pictures and I got to be a showgirl for my birthday. It was so much fun. Then us girls went to BJs for Bloody Marys and I got to make new firneds and felt my heart get a little more full. Theatre people fall into two categories when you really break it down. People you get along with and people you don’t. When you don’t get along with someone, you smile and nod and trust that soon the show will end and you won’t have to see them again for a while. When you get along with someone you don’t want the show to end. Talking is effortless and the time goes by too fast. You can’t wait to book the next show because you know you might see them again. That is how I felt with the girls last night. Time flew too fast and soon I was heading home, wishing them well and looking forward to our next birthday night out.
Then I woke up this morning and I was 32. I started getting the facebook wishes right at midnight, and even a few texts from my friends who were still awake. The amount of love I feel from facebook today is overwhelming and has made me cry several times. There is something powerful about people coming out of the woodwork to wish you well. I know it only takes 5 seconds to post on facebook, but they did it. And for that fraction of time I was sharing my day with them, and they were sharing theirs with me. It is power. The best part is that the celebration isn’t over. Tonight is dinner with my best friend and rehearsal where I get to make pretty music with people I love. Tomorrow I get to sing at Knott’s and then have BJ shots at Claim Jumper. Then heading to see Burlesque with some Follies girls- more people I love. And on Wednesday I go home and see my family. Then Thanksgiving on Thursday. So from literally the start of Friday to the end of Thursday I will have seen more people who mean the world to me than anyone should be lucky enough to have.
And because I am so happy and so in love with this week, I petition for everyone to take a full week for their birthday when they can. Spread the love, share the love and feel the love. Truly appreciate the people who love you and care about you. I often think that no one would care if I was gone. I have wasted time thinking that I don’t make a difference to people and am wasting my life. I could not be more wrong. People do care and people do know and I do make a difference. It’s nice that we get a week to be able to feel that and share that feeling with other people.
Thank you for making my birthday week so wonderfully amazing.
This year I have been given the gift of a week of celebration and by the end of this week I will have seen everyone I can fit into a schedule. Its started Thursday night when I was treated to a movie night with my movie buddy, Eric. We went to the midnight showing of Harry Potter 7.1 and I LOVED IT!! Totally worth only getting 3 hours of sleep the next night. They Friday was our dress rehearsal for Family and Friends. Every year my caroling group does a concert, and it always falls on the weekend of my birthday. So a few years ago we started doing “Amie-Palooza” and making an event out of it. I know people won’t usually come out and play unless there is a reason. So I gave them one. And I have been right every year. Friday we went to Hero’s, a bar in Fullerton. We ate nachos and drank beer and laughed and had a really good time. It’s a different group every year and I love getting to hang out with everyone.
Saturday we had our first caroling gig and then I got to go see Eric perform his firs Jedi Elvis concert. It was so awesome to go support a friend in his dream. And he was really good. Don’t be surprised when Jedi Elvis is on iTunes and booking Las Vegas. This is going to go somewhere! Then Saturday night was the concert and I got to hang out with all my caroling people. It was so good. I love this group so much. The concert was awesome and the two new songs we did rocked the house and made them laugh. It was a good thing. Then we headed over to El Torito for some Mexican food and margaritas. Both were good, but the company was better. It was a large group of us and as I sat there and looked around at all these people I share my life with, I felt very blessed.
Sunday I did a benefit for Fullerton Civic Light Opera and got to spend a part of my birthday weekend with some new people. The event went very well, took lots of pictures and I got to be a showgirl for my birthday. It was so much fun. Then us girls went to BJs for Bloody Marys and I got to make new firneds and felt my heart get a little more full. Theatre people fall into two categories when you really break it down. People you get along with and people you don’t. When you don’t get along with someone, you smile and nod and trust that soon the show will end and you won’t have to see them again for a while. When you get along with someone you don’t want the show to end. Talking is effortless and the time goes by too fast. You can’t wait to book the next show because you know you might see them again. That is how I felt with the girls last night. Time flew too fast and soon I was heading home, wishing them well and looking forward to our next birthday night out.
Then I woke up this morning and I was 32. I started getting the facebook wishes right at midnight, and even a few texts from my friends who were still awake. The amount of love I feel from facebook today is overwhelming and has made me cry several times. There is something powerful about people coming out of the woodwork to wish you well. I know it only takes 5 seconds to post on facebook, but they did it. And for that fraction of time I was sharing my day with them, and they were sharing theirs with me. It is power. The best part is that the celebration isn’t over. Tonight is dinner with my best friend and rehearsal where I get to make pretty music with people I love. Tomorrow I get to sing at Knott’s and then have BJ shots at Claim Jumper. Then heading to see Burlesque with some Follies girls- more people I love. And on Wednesday I go home and see my family. Then Thanksgiving on Thursday. So from literally the start of Friday to the end of Thursday I will have seen more people who mean the world to me than anyone should be lucky enough to have.
And because I am so happy and so in love with this week, I petition for everyone to take a full week for their birthday when they can. Spread the love, share the love and feel the love. Truly appreciate the people who love you and care about you. I often think that no one would care if I was gone. I have wasted time thinking that I don’t make a difference to people and am wasting my life. I could not be more wrong. People do care and people do know and I do make a difference. It’s nice that we get a week to be able to feel that and share that feeling with other people.
Thank you for making my birthday week so wonderfully amazing.
Wednesday, November 17, 2010
Running crazy
I’ve been sidelined from running for almost two weeks now. Last Monday I woke up unable to move without pain. My left hip locked up and every step was a challenge. I suffered through the day, thinking I just slept wrong and it would be fine. But I set up a massage appointment with my friend Heather because the pain was unbearable. Tuesday was the same thing; sitting hurt, driving hurt, walking hurt, standing hurt. I met with Heather and she kicked my hips’ ass. I was almost crying, but I knew the pain was a good pain and we were working out the adhesions and pain but OH MY GOSH! Ow. I iced my hips that night, wore flat shoes for days and slowly started to feel better. I wanted to start working out but the thought was exhausting and every time I went to get dressed for the gym my hips would ache and sitting was such a better plan.
Well it’s been 10 days and I’m ready to get back out there on the work out horse. I don’t want to lose the momentum of Greece and the training for that. I have New Orleans to run in Feb and LA coming up in March. I have to get back out there. But more than just future runs, I need to get back out on the pavement because I’m going stir crazy. Everything feels a little less fulfilling. I need the release of a good run. I need the feeling of being present and alert and focused on one task. I need the repetition of one foot in front of the other. I miss it. I miss being active. This sitting and being injured is for the birds.
So tonight I have rehearsal for a dance show and that will get me up and moving again. The goal is that will propel me back to the gym and back to the world of the active living. I need to sweat. I need to push my body and work.
And I need to lose 10lbs. But that’s for another post.
Well it’s been 10 days and I’m ready to get back out there on the work out horse. I don’t want to lose the momentum of Greece and the training for that. I have New Orleans to run in Feb and LA coming up in March. I have to get back out there. But more than just future runs, I need to get back out on the pavement because I’m going stir crazy. Everything feels a little less fulfilling. I need the release of a good run. I need the feeling of being present and alert and focused on one task. I need the repetition of one foot in front of the other. I miss it. I miss being active. This sitting and being injured is for the birds.
So tonight I have rehearsal for a dance show and that will get me up and moving again. The goal is that will propel me back to the gym and back to the world of the active living. I need to sweat. I need to push my body and work.
And I need to lose 10lbs. But that’s for another post.
Just because you can doesn't mean you should
I often stay in things longer than I should. Relationship, jobs, cars, homes. I enjoy being comfortable and I enjoy having control over where I am and what I’m doing. So staying in something is my way of controlling the situation. Even if the situation is a sucky one. The other part of it is that there are usually things about the sucky situation that I like. But that doesn’t mean I should stay there.
For example, I really like the organizational busy work that is an office. I like office products. I like making copies and collating them and having neat stacks when I’m done. I like organizing people and having plans and keeping things moving. I feel comfortable in an office. I know the feeling of it and how to sit at a desk all day and keep myself busy. But these jobs do not get me anywhere. Loving the sound of a running copier isn’t going to make me any money. Going into the supply cabinet and getting a rush from seeing all the office supply boxes neatly lined up isn’t going to move me up the corporate ladder. Or the creative one. Just because I am good at filing and faxing and making copies doesn’t mean I should stay at this dead end job.
What is it about these things that keep us? I know in my heart that there is something better for me out there. I am certain with all of my being that I am not here on this earth to keep this chair warm. So why do I freeze up when the opportunity to leave comes up? Why, when faced with the option of never having to do this mundane work again, do I suddenly find all the good? All the things that I will “miss” when yesterday I couldn’t get away from them fast enough.
I tried to quit my job last week. But mountainous debt and a 9% unemployment rate in the US kept me here. What is it going to take to push me out of this frustrating comfort zone? When am I going to grow up and start living my life, instead of the life path I am currently on? When am I going to be strong enough to quit the job, buy the car and live a better life? And why am I so scared to trust that I can. That I am better than this life I have right now. That I am worth more than the life I’m living. When will I trust that?
Probably tomorrow.
For example, I really like the organizational busy work that is an office. I like office products. I like making copies and collating them and having neat stacks when I’m done. I like organizing people and having plans and keeping things moving. I feel comfortable in an office. I know the feeling of it and how to sit at a desk all day and keep myself busy. But these jobs do not get me anywhere. Loving the sound of a running copier isn’t going to make me any money. Going into the supply cabinet and getting a rush from seeing all the office supply boxes neatly lined up isn’t going to move me up the corporate ladder. Or the creative one. Just because I am good at filing and faxing and making copies doesn’t mean I should stay at this dead end job.
What is it about these things that keep us? I know in my heart that there is something better for me out there. I am certain with all of my being that I am not here on this earth to keep this chair warm. So why do I freeze up when the opportunity to leave comes up? Why, when faced with the option of never having to do this mundane work again, do I suddenly find all the good? All the things that I will “miss” when yesterday I couldn’t get away from them fast enough.
I tried to quit my job last week. But mountainous debt and a 9% unemployment rate in the US kept me here. What is it going to take to push me out of this frustrating comfort zone? When am I going to grow up and start living my life, instead of the life path I am currently on? When am I going to be strong enough to quit the job, buy the car and live a better life? And why am I so scared to trust that I can. That I am better than this life I have right now. That I am worth more than the life I’m living. When will I trust that?
Probably tomorrow.
Sunday, October 31, 2010
Postcard from Greece- Day 4-The one where Amie runs on the path of Olympians
I’m running a marathon today. That's the first thought when I open my eyes at 4:30am. Truth be told, it’s the fifth time I’ve woken up tonight. I just can’t seem to stay asleep. Probably has a lot to do with the time change and the new country and the lack of sleep in general.
I didn’t know Greece did daylight savings time change. So on the positive side, I get an extra hour. On the negative side, I spend that hour wide awake, scared I'm going to sleep through my alarm and miss this race I have been waiting for over a year to run. I had set a wake-up call for 5a, and at 4a the automated hotel system called me to wake me up. I call down to the front desk to ask what time it is. They say it’s 5a. I ask, 5a? Really? They think for a moment and say, No madam. It’s 4a. Okay. So back to the bed I go. At 4:30, still awake, I get out of bed and decide to get ready to go. I hop into the shower to wake myself up and start getting dressed. At 5:02a the phone rings with the hotel system telling me it’s time to wake up. Again. I laugh and put my shoes on.
I head down to breakfast and smile as I see everyone in their bleary-eyed excitement. People have on their numbers and all their cold-weather gear. I meet up with Joel and Mary and Dawn, who have plates of food in front of them. I don’t play that though. This is the one meal I reserve myself and don’t partake of the yogurt. It breaks my heart a little, but today is not the day to be sidelined with tummy troubles. I have some bread and some coffee and I’m good to go. We all climb into the shuttle bus that will take us to the starting line. There is laughter and talking and excitement about the day. We take pictures and watch the city start to wake up.
The race starts in Marathon and there is really only one good road to get there from Athens. We drive on the opposite side of the street where we will be running and laugh to watch the numbers get lower as we get closer to the starting line. We hit a small patch of traffic when we get into Marathon and I can start to see runners climbing out of buses and stretching and warming up. Runners get so impatient. Maybe it's just the knowledge that we can walk anywhere, so why wait for traffic. But I have always felt very content sitting on the bus, even in stopped traffic, because I know that for the next 5+ hours I will be running around.
The bus drops us off and I start taking pictures of everything that interests me. I know from experience that if I see something I need to snap it at that moment. It won’t happen again and I am not going to feel bad for taking the extra 30 to get a neat picture. Probably one of the big reasons my time doesn't get better all the time.
There are men peeing on the side of the road in the orchard, but I don’t take pictures of that. If I had a dollar for every time I’ve seen someone pee on the side of road I would be a millionaire twice over. Joel and I head to the starting line and hit a wall of foot traffic. Everyone is pushing and pulling and trying to get to their start position. Luckily Joel has a good attitude about everything and she keeps me smiling. It takes about 20 minutes to walk through everyone, but we get there. Once we get into our starting choral I look over to my left and see a flame. It’s the MARATHON FLAME! I tell Joel we’re going to go take a picture.
We climb up the steps, take a picture with the flame and I look out over the thousands of people who are there to run. Literally thousands of people. All different countries (we count 7 just from the people around us wiaitng to start) and all different goals in their mind. Everyone just wants to finish. We hear the starting flare and the first wave goes. And twenty minutes later we're crossing the starting line and I head out in a smooth jog. I’m ready.
The course is really hilly. Most of it is uphill and no one is happy about that, although we all were prepared. I notice five people dressed as Spartans, in full regalia, and I applaud their tenacity. It’s hot out here! People stand and watch us by. They all shout “Bravo” and cheer us on, waving olive branches and flowers. I gather olive branches as I run, putting one in my belt, one in my hat and carry one with me. I am smiling and truly enjoying the day. It’s a clear sky, no wind and the sun shines down like it’s almost smiling. I have a great pace going, probably too fast for the hills, but I’m feeling really good. I take pictures of the interesting things I see and the funny things. I listen to my iPod and say my prayers for the people I’m thinking about. It’s in kilometers, so everyone gets two kilometers instead of 1 mile. It’s fun to keep doing the math in my head and it keeps me distracted.
And sooner than I think, we are at 39k, the kilometer I’ve devoted to my father. And like a comforting sign from above, his song pops up from the shuffling iPod. Tears come to my eyes as I give a kiss to the sky, think about what I’ve just put behind me and what I am running towards. In the past 5.5 hours I have forgiven friends, forgiven past lovers, forgiven myself and worked through the frustration of my job. I’ve given thanks to where I’ve been, thanks to the people in my life and thanks to the many blessings I have in my life. I know exactly where I am in the world and I am more present than I have been in a really long time.
I hear the crowd get louder as I approach the stadium. The stadium where the 1896 Olympics finished. Where the 2004 Olympics finished. Where thousands of people before me have crossed and cried and triumphed. I feel the energy of everyone as I step onto the stadium track and finish the .2 of the race. It is over whelming. It’s amazing. It’s powerful and it is by far the coolest thing I have ever done. I feel a sort of elation I have never felt before. It’s mind blowing.
I walk to get my medal and my bag of food goodies. I join the other Marathon Tour runners in the stands and let the awesomeness of what just happened wash over me. I did it.
And now I need a nap.
Saturday, October 30, 2010
Postcards from Greece- Day 3 Part 2- The one where Amie gets lost in Athens
I didn’t really finish what happened Friday. I think we last left me standing in a room filled with people who all run around for 26.2 miles and then try to figure out where to put the medals we get at the end of it.
The reception is going strong when I head upstairs to the lobby to meet Laura. She had posted on my fb wall that she was going to be in Athens for one night while she waited to board a ship for her next contract and, as luck would have it, I would be there too. The universe gave me a night with a friend I haven’t seen in over 5 years. We chatted a few times via fb and phone calls and finally agreed to meet at 7p in the lobby of my hotel on Friday night.
So I get there. And wait. And wait. I start to get worried, but figure it was probably more that she was tired and had fallen asleep after the long flight. So I go downstairs and have another glass of wine and some baklava. I head upstairs at around 9 and se I have a message. Laura had called and said that everyone ate so late anyway and we should head out around 9 instead. A minute after I hang up my phone she calls and I pick up, shocked at the perfect timing. She says she’s going to get on a bus and head over, meeting at my place around 10p. Great. We hang up and I lie down, set my alarm and fall asleep.
Well, I sleep through the alarm. No surprise there after four glasses of wine and severe jet lag. I awake at 10:45 in a panic that I had missed her. I run downstairs to see if she’s in the lobby. Nope. I head back upstairs and try to think of what to do. Five minutes later my phone rings and it’s her. She had gotten lost on the way to my hotel and had just arrived. Hooray!
We walk around the Plaka for a while, taking side streets and trying to find a good place where we can talk but still feel the vibe of the city. We wander for probably 45 minutes, talking and laughing and catching up on everything. This is what I love about women. We can talk for hours and still enjoy each other’s company and still have something to say. We find a cute little organic restaurant on a side street and head in. Laura orders some wine, I get water and order a salad and a plate of meat and cheese. Very European. We about relationships, cute boys, clothes, careers, starting families and what we each want in life. It’s so nice to talk with someone about everything. And there is no long talk of the past, considering we went to college together I imagine there might be more to talk about there. But we both look to the future and talk about what we want and where we’re going. It’s a wonderful evening and I can’t stop smiling.
At 1a we head out for Laura to catch her bus back to her hotel. I’m sad to see her go. Such a nice piece of the USA on my Greek trip and I’m so thankful. I put her in the bus with her hot chocolate and, with the Acropolis on my right, head back to my hotel, certain of where I’m going. Certain that, if nothing else, I will at least be able to find signs that will lead me to The Temple of Olympia Zeus and then I can find home from there. I walk with a purpose for 20 minutes, always looking for the Acropolis to get my bearings. I turn and walk up a very steep hill, certain I’m going the right way, only to turn full around and see the Acropolis directly in front of me. Crap. So down the hill I walk, desperate to find something that looks familiar. (And hoping to not walk past someone I have already passed, showing my foreign confusion about streets and directions.)
I finally do. 45 minutes after leaving Laura on the bus I find myself back where I had left Laura, taking a left this time instead of a right. I feel slightly panicked as I search for clues to my path home. I know I can’t just sit down on a stoop and sleep (as I want to do) and there is this strange feeling of determined resignation I feel as I know I have to get myself back to the hotel. Not finding it is not an option. Soon streets start to look familiar and slowly I put the pieces of where I am together in my head.
At around 2a I come upon a set of ruins I recognize from my tour book and it just makes me laugh. I love being in a city where you can drink a coffee made 5 minutes ago, carry a purse made 50 years ago, walk on streets paved 100 years ago and “stumble” across a set of ruins from 1000 years ago. The ruins I in front of me at 2a is the Roman Agora- the central meeting place of ancient Athens. I can’t go into it, but it’s lit with floodlights to give it a regal glow. I walk slowly around it, taking in all the shadows and history.
Then, with my bearings once more and the Acropolis on my right, I head to the hotel. I know where I am now (this is where Joel and I got lost yesterday) and I am ready to be back in my room. I have to pee, I’m thirsty and exhausted. 20 minutes later I cross the street to my hotel and walk into the lobby.
I never felt unsafe in Athens during my late night walk. There were people out eating and drinking and dancing and laughing. I never felt threatened or scared or out of place (other than when I was lost. But even then I knew where I was headed and that made it okay.) It is a very nice city with really nice people. I feel very proud of myself for finding my way home and getting myself into bed safely. Tomorrow begins another adventure
Friday, October 29, 2010
Postcard from Greece- Day 3- The one where Amie walks around Athens. A lot.
Today I finally get my Greek yogurt! I have been waiting and waiting for this moment. And it is everything I thought it would be. Thick and creamy and I put honey all over it so it is sweet and amazing. I am literally in heaven as I eat this amazing Greek treat. The rest of breakfast is pretty good. Runny scrambled eggs (I steer clear of those) some sausage (also not amazing) and grilled tomatoes and mushrooms. I like! I also am a fan of the pies they have. Spinach pies, cheese pies, cream pies. They are like little piece of tasty heaven.
I'm eating alone as I haven't really met a lot of people yet. I slept most of yesterday. I know that will change though. I finish breakfast, which also includes a piece of chocolate cake with hazelnut spread and a whipped cream thingy with pistachios. I head up to my room and get ready for the day. We are heading out for a bus tour of Athens, including the Acropolis, so I wear jeans and a t-shirt and bring my jacket. Bus picks us up at 9a and there is a big debate over the pink bus. I head over for it since I know it will be easy to find in the throngs of people at the tour sites. I get on the bus and sit next to a friendly looking woman, who I learn is named Carol from Arkansas. She turns out to be a loud seat partner, someone who reminds me a lot of my mother in her ability to talk with everyone about anything. She is also a teacher and is soon making us laugh and all talk with each other.
Our tour guide is an older woman and I wonder how she is going to be able to maneuver the steps. Her accent is think, which is endearing at first but soon becomes hard to follow and I try to stay focused and not tune out. We get to the Acropolis and she tells us we have until 11am to walk around. Thank goodness I have my book. Soon Carol, Ben and I are off on our own with the aid of Rick Steve and his walking tour of the Acropolis. At Bruele Gate (the gate that opens up into the Proplyea at the west end of the Acropilis) we meet up with two women who are traveling together. Joel is a teacher from Maryland and Mary is a pychologist from Conneticut. They join our group and the five of us are soon walking around, taking in the sights and learning from the book. There are tons of people up there already this morning. Lots of tour groups and a few groups from schools. Everyone has a tour guide, but we are sticking with the book. As we enter through the Proplyea up to where the Parthenon stands, we run into Clyde Drexler. I don't know who he is, but I do immediately see him. He is a 7 foot tall, good looking black man in the middle of tourists and school children. When Carol finds out he's "famous" she runs up to him, asks for his picture, and then comes running back to us to ask who he is. Ben, being a guy, knows who he is and all his stats. We are star struck, but don't go bother him. We wave and smile and watch as other groups overtake him for pictures.
We continue our walk around the Acropolis, breaking away from each other and then coming back. We all take tons of pictures and ask lots of questions. We learn about the Greek revolution, the history of Athena's temple and what all the ruins on the Acropolis used to be. There are dogs all over and I ask one of the tour guides what the story is with them. She tells me they are stryas, left by locals, and the government takes care of them. They collar them, give them names, give their shots and neuter them. Then they are let back onto the streets and fed by the locals and the government. I smile at a country that thinks to well of it's animals and understands that they are not a nuisance, just a part of life.
I begin to see that is a lot of the Greek mentality. They just embrace life and everything it gives, the good and the bad. It's the oldest civilization in the Western world and I'm sure that kind of wisdom comes with the age and the history. America tries so hard, all the time. Tries hard to be the best, stay on top of everything and continue to imporive, at any cost. Greece just tries to live the best life it can. I like that.
We finish up with the Acropolis and meet the bus back at the base of the hill. The parking lot is packed now and I am thankful we have a pink bus to find. We all pile in and start talking to each other. I meet a couple from Florida, a couple from Delaware and a mother/daughter couple from Virginia. We chat for a bit and watch the city pass us by. Not very quickly though. The streets are small and trees are low so the driving is slow going. We marvel at the tour bus' ability to get around without hitting anyone. The next stop is the Stadium, where the race finishes on Sunday. We all get out for a quick stop and take a few pictures and some people use the rest room. We meet more people from other buses as we stand there. It is proving to be a great group of very friendly people and I feel completely at home. The stadium is amazing. It is made of marble and can hold 50,000 people. I close my eyes and imagine running through the opening on Sunday. I like to think there will be 50,000 people cheering me on as I finish. The thought makes me smile.
We load back on the bus and head to the Temple of Olypian Zeus and then to the expo. The Temple of Zeus is quite a sight. It is 7 columns and used to house a 70 foot statue of Zeus. The Romans came and added their touch of design (they did that to a lot of the buildings when they took over) and the whole ruins is a park where you can go in an take pictures and walk around. I become the unofficial tour guide, as I have a loud voice and am holding the book. Everyone in the group is really nice and all are awed by the history we are looking at. We walk across the street to the expo to get our packaets. Not much to say about the expo. Sometimes a race expo is filled with samples and stores and things to look at. This was a maze of people and small booths and not much to go with. I end up hanging out with Joel for the whole day, and she and I have a good time. We have the same temperment and outlook on life. She is much more outspoken than I am, and just celebrated her 60th birthday, but we get along quite well. After the expo we start looking at where we want to walk around. We decide on the Plaka, the oldest part of Athens which is now a huge market for anything you can want in Greece.
We get lost getting there. The streets of Athens are winding, not very well marked and don't realy give a direction. We do know that as long as the Acropolis is on our right we are heading to the hotel. So we walk for a bit, ask for directions (One time getting the answer "walk down to the end and turn left. From there ask another person.) We stop into stores and browse for a while, periodically buying what we see. I pull out my spreadsheet of gifts (I have too much time at work) and Joel laughs at me. I shrug, but I know it's the only way to keep myself on track with buying things.
We come across another set of ruins, a library, and walk through that and take pictures. I get yelled at when I sit on one of the marble pieces. But all in all it is a quiet place. It is amazing to be in a bustling city and standing in the middle of ruins that have been there for centuries. It is peaceful, quiet and awe inspiring.
After the library we head to the hotel. Sounds easier than it is. We walk around and find another couple also trying to find their way to their hotel. They are from Canada and are on a six-week tour of Europe. They did the islands of Greece for three days and are leaving on Sunday for Italy. A feel a pang of envy that they have so much time to do that. Someday....
Long story short- we find the hotel. We have been walking for about 5 hours and are both exhausted. But it's the night of the cocktail reception so there is no rest for the running. We head to our rooms and I take a quick shower to was off the traveling. At 6pm I head down to the ballroom where there is an open bar, with Greek wines, German beers and American pop, and waiters walking around with chicken, beef, smoked salmon and spanikopita. Our group meets up, adding in Carols roommate Heather and a woman named Dawn who Mary and Joel know. We meet up with Greg and his wife Ally who are from Florida and are great fun. Always smiling and living a full life. They look like people you want to hang out with.
There is much laughing and eating and drinking. I have white wine and lots of food. Laura, my friend from college is scheduled to meet me at 7pm so I head up to the lobby to find her. 20 minutes later she still hasn't arrived so I think that maybe her plane got delayed or plans changed. I head back down stairs and am met with plates and plates of sweets. The baklava is amazing. Little bite-sized pieces of honey filled heaven. I eat three in one swift motion and have another glass of the white wine. We are all laughing and talking about races. Runners love to talk about their races, what they've done and what they're doing next. I have never heard so much running talk. Everyone is so pasisonate about this hobby we have. I am in a room filled with people who completely understand why I do what I do and why I love it.
There is more to this day- meeting up with Laura and getting lost in Athens at 2am- but for now I leave, off to another adventure. I'll write more soon.
Thanks for listening!
Thursday, October 28, 2010
Postcard From Greece- Day 2- The one where Amie sleeps a lot.
I wake up in the room and realize I've missed the afternoon run. That's okay. I'm in Greece and I'm on vacation. And my body has no idea what time it is. I'm pretty sure it's Thursday, but I check in with CNN to be sure. CNN and BBC are the only English stations we get here, so I know that by the end of the week I will be fully up to date with current events. I go back to sleep. I wake up to my phone ringing at 8pm. Ben, one of the travelers from San Diego, and his friend Sarah are going to dinner- do I want to join them? Well heck yeah I do!
So off we go into the Athens streets. We walk up toward the Acropolis, which looks gorgeous lit up by flood lights and regally sitting atop the highest point in Athens. Little do I know that this landmark will serve to get me home on more than one occasion. We marvel at the people who get to live in view of this icon every day. The apartments are so cute! We walk back down the path and decide it's time to start looking for food. And boy do we find it! Lots of little restaurants open for late night dinner. We stop into one that promises live music and good food. You can't say no to that combination. I'm glad we didn't. We sit down at a small table and I order a carafe of wine. There is a man playing guitar and singing "Fools Fall in Love". I immediately feel at home and yet very far away from everyone.
I order a plate of gyro, meat that is marinated and then roasted vertically over a fire. It is delicious. It is served with pita bread, onions, parsley and tadiki. I fall in love with the yogurt spread and dip the pita as well as the table bread in it as I chat with my companions. I finish everything on my plate and sit back to enjoy my wine and the music. Not too soon after that one of the waiters invites me up to dance. I of course join him. I, along with two other ladies, shuffle through a traditional greek line dance and soon we are all laughing.
We leave the restaurant with full bellies and smiles. Thankfully we have a nice walk back to the hotel to digest. I get up to my room, with a good night to Ben and Sarah, and run a hot bath. I can't tell you the last time I took a true bathtub bath. I put in the bath salts I brought from home and settled in for relaxation. My body is very thankful for this. I'm not sure it has forgiven me the 24 hour sleepless travel. I listen to my Greek lesson on my iPod and zone out, thankful the day is done and that sleep is sure to follow. I go over in my head the day I had what is planned for tomorrow. When I finally lie down in the comfortable and warm bed, play some bejewelled and close my eyes, I realize that being a true citizen of the world is feeling at home no matter where you go. And I feel right at home.
So off we go into the Athens streets. We walk up toward the Acropolis, which looks gorgeous lit up by flood lights and regally sitting atop the highest point in Athens. Little do I know that this landmark will serve to get me home on more than one occasion. We marvel at the people who get to live in view of this icon every day. The apartments are so cute! We walk back down the path and decide it's time to start looking for food. And boy do we find it! Lots of little restaurants open for late night dinner. We stop into one that promises live music and good food. You can't say no to that combination. I'm glad we didn't. We sit down at a small table and I order a carafe of wine. There is a man playing guitar and singing "Fools Fall in Love". I immediately feel at home and yet very far away from everyone.
I order a plate of gyro, meat that is marinated and then roasted vertically over a fire. It is delicious. It is served with pita bread, onions, parsley and tadiki. I fall in love with the yogurt spread and dip the pita as well as the table bread in it as I chat with my companions. I finish everything on my plate and sit back to enjoy my wine and the music. Not too soon after that one of the waiters invites me up to dance. I of course join him. I, along with two other ladies, shuffle through a traditional greek line dance and soon we are all laughing.
We leave the restaurant with full bellies and smiles. Thankfully we have a nice walk back to the hotel to digest. I get up to my room, with a good night to Ben and Sarah, and run a hot bath. I can't tell you the last time I took a true bathtub bath. I put in the bath salts I brought from home and settled in for relaxation. My body is very thankful for this. I'm not sure it has forgiven me the 24 hour sleepless travel. I listen to my Greek lesson on my iPod and zone out, thankful the day is done and that sleep is sure to follow. I go over in my head the day I had what is planned for tomorrow. When I finally lie down in the comfortable and warm bed, play some bejewelled and close my eyes, I realize that being a true citizen of the world is feeling at home no matter where you go. And I feel right at home.
Wednesday, October 27, 2010
Postcard from Greece- Day 1- The one where Amie travels to another country
I have quartet rehearsal tonight and thank goodness my soprano (Becca) is awesome and lets me use her credit card to book my shuttle. Time just got away from me and I realize that if I don't book my shuttle right now I am going to have to walk to LAX. I might as well have, when I see what time the shuttle is coming to get me- 3a!! For a trip that takes only 20 min without traffic. But I book it, sing some carols with my peeps, cry a little bit, and then head home to pack. Because it's not really a trip until you wait until the last minute to pack your things.
I get home, put Harry Potter 1 in my dvd player (I WILL watch all 6 movies before 7.1 comes out) and start on my list. I have been obsessivly making lists for the past month. Didn't want to forget anything important. Lists about what to pack, what to buy, where to buy it, how much money to bring, budgeting out what I get to spend and where. Luckily I have a job that affords me such time luxuries!
I finish packing at around 2a and start in on my International Marketing homework. My goal is to get everything done so I didn't have to bring anything even resembling homework with me on this trip. That means doing a weeks worth of homework and class worth for both my classes in two days. I succeed! I get everything done (including sending out a transcript request for grad school aps) A few last minute freak outs about remembering everyting and I'm ready to meet the shuttle at 2:45 when it pulls into my driveway.
Thank goodness it's so early! Read the sarcasm there. We get to LAX and it's EMPTY! Just me and about 50 other people waiting for the gates to open and the day to start. I find a chair in the corner, put my feet up on my suitcase, wrap my arms around my carry on and put on my Greek lesson in my iPod. And promptly fall asleep. At 4:30 I wake up to find the airport much busier. I check in, hand over my bag to the Gods of Delta and procceed through security into the gate area. And I still have 2 hours before my flight leaves. So I find another corner, put my iPod back in and close my eyes one more time. I wake up in time to hear the first boarding group being called. I quickly step into the ladies room, then fill up my water bottle at a water fountain and I make my way on the plane.
A flight to JFK where I sleep through most of it. An hour lay over in NYC then on the flight for Athens!! I settle into my seat and see that there are movies right in front of me. I have my own little theater to watch movies and TV shows. This flight is going to fly by. I should sleep, but I spend the time catching up on all my Netflix movies that I have wanted to see. "Just Wright", "Letters to Juliette", "Twilight: Eclipse" (which I put in so I can sleep through it, which I do. Thank you Stephanie Meyers for writing such droll plots so I can get some sleep), and then "Knight and Day" which was much better than I thought it was going to be.
I only freak out once. This freaking out when traveling is new to me. I didn't ever freak out with flying before, but as we pass over the Atlantic Ocean I start to get a little panicky and have to stop thinking. The idea of being suspended over the ocean really bothers me and I can't wrap my head around the logistics of it. When we start to fly over the dry land of Europe and make our way south to Greece I can feel myself physically relax.
We land and I start to wrap my head around the idea of being in a foreign country. I'm in GREECE!! I make my way through the airport, through passport checking (where I correctly said "good morning" and "thank you" to the agent in Greek) and to the currency exchange. I now have Eruos in my pocket and time on my hands. I meet up with the people from Marathon Tours and we make our way to to hotels. I learn there are 900 runners with the tour and lots of people from all over the US. I meet a guy and girl in from San Diego and we commiserate about the long flight.
We get to the hotel and check in. There is a run at 4p and I am certain I am going to make it. I need to run after sitting for 15+ hours. But just a quick shower and nap. My hotel room is small, with no window, which I am still battling. I do not like not being able to see outside. It really bothers me. But I take it as a sign I need to be outside my room more!
So here I am in Greece. GREECE! And I'm taking a nap. Finally. My body ius quick to remind me that it hasn't slept more than 4 hours in the past 48 and maybe lying down is the best thing. But there is nothing cooler than napping in a foreign country with the thought that when I wake up, anything is possible.
I get home, put Harry Potter 1 in my dvd player (I WILL watch all 6 movies before 7.1 comes out) and start on my list. I have been obsessivly making lists for the past month. Didn't want to forget anything important. Lists about what to pack, what to buy, where to buy it, how much money to bring, budgeting out what I get to spend and where. Luckily I have a job that affords me such time luxuries!
I finish packing at around 2a and start in on my International Marketing homework. My goal is to get everything done so I didn't have to bring anything even resembling homework with me on this trip. That means doing a weeks worth of homework and class worth for both my classes in two days. I succeed! I get everything done (including sending out a transcript request for grad school aps) A few last minute freak outs about remembering everyting and I'm ready to meet the shuttle at 2:45 when it pulls into my driveway.
Thank goodness it's so early! Read the sarcasm there. We get to LAX and it's EMPTY! Just me and about 50 other people waiting for the gates to open and the day to start. I find a chair in the corner, put my feet up on my suitcase, wrap my arms around my carry on and put on my Greek lesson in my iPod. And promptly fall asleep. At 4:30 I wake up to find the airport much busier. I check in, hand over my bag to the Gods of Delta and procceed through security into the gate area. And I still have 2 hours before my flight leaves. So I find another corner, put my iPod back in and close my eyes one more time. I wake up in time to hear the first boarding group being called. I quickly step into the ladies room, then fill up my water bottle at a water fountain and I make my way on the plane.
A flight to JFK where I sleep through most of it. An hour lay over in NYC then on the flight for Athens!! I settle into my seat and see that there are movies right in front of me. I have my own little theater to watch movies and TV shows. This flight is going to fly by. I should sleep, but I spend the time catching up on all my Netflix movies that I have wanted to see. "Just Wright", "Letters to Juliette", "Twilight: Eclipse" (which I put in so I can sleep through it, which I do. Thank you Stephanie Meyers for writing such droll plots so I can get some sleep), and then "Knight and Day" which was much better than I thought it was going to be.
I only freak out once. This freaking out when traveling is new to me. I didn't ever freak out with flying before, but as we pass over the Atlantic Ocean I start to get a little panicky and have to stop thinking. The idea of being suspended over the ocean really bothers me and I can't wrap my head around the logistics of it. When we start to fly over the dry land of Europe and make our way south to Greece I can feel myself physically relax.
We land and I start to wrap my head around the idea of being in a foreign country. I'm in GREECE!! I make my way through the airport, through passport checking (where I correctly said "good morning" and "thank you" to the agent in Greek) and to the currency exchange. I now have Eruos in my pocket and time on my hands. I meet up with the people from Marathon Tours and we make our way to to hotels. I learn there are 900 runners with the tour and lots of people from all over the US. I meet a guy and girl in from San Diego and we commiserate about the long flight.
We get to the hotel and check in. There is a run at 4p and I am certain I am going to make it. I need to run after sitting for 15+ hours. But just a quick shower and nap. My hotel room is small, with no window, which I am still battling. I do not like not being able to see outside. It really bothers me. But I take it as a sign I need to be outside my room more!
So here I am in Greece. GREECE! And I'm taking a nap. Finally. My body ius quick to remind me that it hasn't slept more than 4 hours in the past 48 and maybe lying down is the best thing. But there is nothing cooler than napping in a foreign country with the thought that when I wake up, anything is possible.
Greece Before....
My phone just rang and an automated voice came on to tell me that my shuttle was 1 hour and 15 minutes away. My suitcase is packed and in the corner, my flight is scheduled to be on time, Harry Potter has kept me company for the past few hours and I have brushed my teeth. I've been awake all day and am running on the pure adrenaline that only comes with the thought of getting on a plane in 4.5 hours.
I also have been crying for two days without any reason. Well, I'm sure there is a reason, but it seems to come from nowhere. I'm about to get on a plane to a country I've never been to. I'm going alone and I'm not sure what I'm walking into. I"m tired of traveling alone. When I booked this trip I truly thought I would be going with a boyfriend, someone to share this experience with. Yet again, it is me and a camera. And some Greek yogurt, I'm sure. And there are deeper things. I miss my father and wish he was here to talk to about this. I wish my mother was coming with me. I would love to have 10 days with her. Or my sister, either of them.
This is a short entry and probably not the most thought out post I'll every write. But I'm here, I'm nervous and I'm heading out the door shortly. To Greece.
GREECE!
I'll update as I go. I'm running a marathon, having dinner with a college friend, seeing the ruins, shopping, eating, sleeping and going on vacation. Going on vacation. Ten days with no phone, no facebook, no internet, no texting, no homework.....just me and Greece. That is a great thought.
See you in Athens!
Friday, October 22, 2010
Greece in 5 Days!!
Busy, busy weekend ahead: my last day of work, seeing a show with a good friend, caroling rehearsal, flying up to see the family for a few days, taking the GMAT and two quartet caroling rehearsals. Not to mention all the little business things that have to get taken care of before I leave for Greece. Wait, what? Greece?!!? That’s right baby!! I’m going to GREECE!!
I have never waited this long for anything. Have been paying for this trip in monthly installments for over a year. Have been putting money away, making lists, researching places to eat and what to buy, and just generally getting my head wrapped around the awesomness that is this trip! So in five days I will board a plane to Greece and be there for 10 days. 10 friggin’ DAYS!! Alone. Well, I’m with a group of fellow runners, but I don’t know any of them and I have a room to myself so for all intents and purposes I’m travelling alone. Also something I haven’t done in a really long time.
My first marathon ever was in a foreign country. That’s when I fell in love with them. I crossed the finish line in Paris and decided this was what I wanted to do. 8 years and 15 full marathons later I am heading out to run in the footsteps of legends. I am running the same path the Olympians ran in 2004. I’m running the mythological path of the original marathon Philippedies ran 2500 years ago. It blows my mind. I have a feeling I will spend the entire run with my jaw dropped, taking in all the sights and thinking about the people who have run the race before me.
When I signed up for this race last September I booked it for two people. I wanted to bring someone with me on this adventure. I’m tired of traveling alone, tired of running races alone, tired of bringing back pictures of places I went alone, with most of them being one armed pics of me standing in front of something really cool. I asked a few people but most couldn’t afford the time off or the trip itself. And I can’t blame them. You have to really be devoted to make this part of your calendar for a year and sacrifice the money. And I have made this a priority. There are shows I didn’t audition for because I knew I would be gone. My quartet has done extra rehearsals because they are losing me for a block of time. I have to continue to scrimp after I get back because I just don’t have the vacation time to fill an entire paycheck. But it’s worth it.
I guess that’s all people who are passionate about something say “It’s worth it”. This silly hobby of mine that leaves me sore, bruised, tired, poor, hungry and weathered also leaves me filled with a kind of drive I don’t have in many aspects of my life. It makes me feel powerful, energized, accomplished, well travelled, excited and looking at life with a smile. This is a passion. In 5 days I get to fulfill a dream and live out a passion. This is what life is about. This is what life is for.
Well, that and a good piece of chocolate!
I have never waited this long for anything. Have been paying for this trip in monthly installments for over a year. Have been putting money away, making lists, researching places to eat and what to buy, and just generally getting my head wrapped around the awesomness that is this trip! So in five days I will board a plane to Greece and be there for 10 days. 10 friggin’ DAYS!! Alone. Well, I’m with a group of fellow runners, but I don’t know any of them and I have a room to myself so for all intents and purposes I’m travelling alone. Also something I haven’t done in a really long time.
My first marathon ever was in a foreign country. That’s when I fell in love with them. I crossed the finish line in Paris and decided this was what I wanted to do. 8 years and 15 full marathons later I am heading out to run in the footsteps of legends. I am running the same path the Olympians ran in 2004. I’m running the mythological path of the original marathon Philippedies ran 2500 years ago. It blows my mind. I have a feeling I will spend the entire run with my jaw dropped, taking in all the sights and thinking about the people who have run the race before me.
When I signed up for this race last September I booked it for two people. I wanted to bring someone with me on this adventure. I’m tired of traveling alone, tired of running races alone, tired of bringing back pictures of places I went alone, with most of them being one armed pics of me standing in front of something really cool. I asked a few people but most couldn’t afford the time off or the trip itself. And I can’t blame them. You have to really be devoted to make this part of your calendar for a year and sacrifice the money. And I have made this a priority. There are shows I didn’t audition for because I knew I would be gone. My quartet has done extra rehearsals because they are losing me for a block of time. I have to continue to scrimp after I get back because I just don’t have the vacation time to fill an entire paycheck. But it’s worth it.
I guess that’s all people who are passionate about something say “It’s worth it”. This silly hobby of mine that leaves me sore, bruised, tired, poor, hungry and weathered also leaves me filled with a kind of drive I don’t have in many aspects of my life. It makes me feel powerful, energized, accomplished, well travelled, excited and looking at life with a smile. This is a passion. In 5 days I get to fulfill a dream and live out a passion. This is what life is about. This is what life is for.
Well, that and a good piece of chocolate!
Sunday, September 19, 2010
Things that made me happy 16 Sept 2010
- My morning run with Kiersten. It is so wonderful to wake up and run and have that time with her! We did stride work at the Burbank HS track and it was awesome to push us hard. She is such an awesome friend and is really pushing herself with this training. I know it’s not easy on her, but I admire how hard she’s working and I am so excited to cross that finish line with her in a month.
- Hulu.com and streaming Netflix on my iPhone- I would NOT be able to be at work for 9 hours if I didn’t have these two outlets into the entertainment world. I watched four episodes of Hoarders today. That show made me very ready to go home and start unpacking.
- I’m thankful to have a job to come to every day that pays me. It’s a safe place, pay is alright and the people like me. I need to start smiling here more.
- Leaving work to attend the MBA information meeting at Chapman. Was headed off by some awful traffic so I ended up going home and getting an early start on unpacking.
- Finding a parking spot close to my house. I know I can park on the driveway with the other cars, but it’s so hard to get in and out of there, I usually like to park on the street. Finding a spot so close was awesome!
- Got home and felt completely overwhelmed by the amount of work I have to do so I decided to go get some groceries for dinner. I went for a walk to see which store was close. The sun was just setting and it was a gorgeous night. Perfect temperature for a walk. I looked around and smiled at the neighbors and thought how nice it would be to throw a block party and get everyone to know each other. I want to feel safe where I live and I know the only way to do that is to know the people around me.
- Walking through the True Value grocery store and seeing great deals on produce. It’s a primarily Latino market and the produce was cheaper than Ralph’s. Perfect for juicing! And it’s so close I can go twice a week if I need. I walked through the store trying to find something to eat that was ready-made. I don’t have pots or pans yet or a microwave so I had to buy something I could just make a meal out of. I’m also trying to eat as healthy as possible so that means no cheese, processed meats or preservatives. (So my stand-by meal of salami and cheese was gone.) Plus it is a Latino store so their deli section left a lot to be desired and I didn’t recognize a lot of what was on the shelves. A fun experiment for my future cooking adventures, but not so fun when all that’s needed is a quick meal. I went to the liquor section, thinking maybe I’d just have a beer and eat tomorrow. Nope- beer was more expensive than an entire chicken. So then I thought about wine, but realized I don’t have a wine opener. So champagne? Sure, except I knew I wouldn’t (or rather shouldn’t) finish an entire bottle in one night. So I went back to the grocery hunting.
- Leaving the grocery store with a box of Cheerios and a gallon of soy milk.
- Getting home and realizing that not only do I not have a bowl to eat the cereal out of, I also don’t have a spoon. So my first meal in my new place was a glassful of soymilk and dry cheerios.
- Working on my handbell songs without worrying about waking up anyone or disturbing anyone. I’m sure it sounded funny to the neighbors. But no less annoying that gospel at full volume at 8:30 on a Sunday morning.
- Unpacking two boxes of books and three bags of clothing, putting up my laundry basket and hanging up some clothes. It’s a slow process but I will soon have a finished apartment.
- Falling asleep early and getting a full 8 hours in before the alarm clock went off at 5:30 for the next day’s beginning.
Not the most eventful day in my life. But it was a good day, a safe day and a day filled with baby steps towards my future. That’s all we can ask from some days.
- Hulu.com and streaming Netflix on my iPhone- I would NOT be able to be at work for 9 hours if I didn’t have these two outlets into the entertainment world. I watched four episodes of Hoarders today. That show made me very ready to go home and start unpacking.
- I’m thankful to have a job to come to every day that pays me. It’s a safe place, pay is alright and the people like me. I need to start smiling here more.
- Leaving work to attend the MBA information meeting at Chapman. Was headed off by some awful traffic so I ended up going home and getting an early start on unpacking.
- Finding a parking spot close to my house. I know I can park on the driveway with the other cars, but it’s so hard to get in and out of there, I usually like to park on the street. Finding a spot so close was awesome!
- Got home and felt completely overwhelmed by the amount of work I have to do so I decided to go get some groceries for dinner. I went for a walk to see which store was close. The sun was just setting and it was a gorgeous night. Perfect temperature for a walk. I looked around and smiled at the neighbors and thought how nice it would be to throw a block party and get everyone to know each other. I want to feel safe where I live and I know the only way to do that is to know the people around me.
- Walking through the True Value grocery store and seeing great deals on produce. It’s a primarily Latino market and the produce was cheaper than Ralph’s. Perfect for juicing! And it’s so close I can go twice a week if I need. I walked through the store trying to find something to eat that was ready-made. I don’t have pots or pans yet or a microwave so I had to buy something I could just make a meal out of. I’m also trying to eat as healthy as possible so that means no cheese, processed meats or preservatives. (So my stand-by meal of salami and cheese was gone.) Plus it is a Latino store so their deli section left a lot to be desired and I didn’t recognize a lot of what was on the shelves. A fun experiment for my future cooking adventures, but not so fun when all that’s needed is a quick meal. I went to the liquor section, thinking maybe I’d just have a beer and eat tomorrow. Nope- beer was more expensive than an entire chicken. So then I thought about wine, but realized I don’t have a wine opener. So champagne? Sure, except I knew I wouldn’t (or rather shouldn’t) finish an entire bottle in one night. So I went back to the grocery hunting.
- Leaving the grocery store with a box of Cheerios and a gallon of soy milk.
- Getting home and realizing that not only do I not have a bowl to eat the cereal out of, I also don’t have a spoon. So my first meal in my new place was a glassful of soymilk and dry cheerios.
- Working on my handbell songs without worrying about waking up anyone or disturbing anyone. I’m sure it sounded funny to the neighbors. But no less annoying that gospel at full volume at 8:30 on a Sunday morning.
- Unpacking two boxes of books and three bags of clothing, putting up my laundry basket and hanging up some clothes. It’s a slow process but I will soon have a finished apartment.
- Falling asleep early and getting a full 8 hours in before the alarm clock went off at 5:30 for the next day’s beginning.
Not the most eventful day in my life. But it was a good day, a safe day and a day filled with baby steps towards my future. That’s all we can ask from some days.
Friday, September 10, 2010
What made me happy Thursday 9 Sept 2010
- Mixed Company call-backs. This is the 8th season I will work with MixedCo and I can remember the first time I auditioned for them. I didn’t make it. The man I was dating at the time was really good friends with Randy and thought I would enjoy the work and would be good for the company. I was 22 and thought I was a perfect fit as well. I sang, went to call backs, chatted with Randy and was certain I was going to be singing Christmas carols that year. I didn’t get the call that Friday. I didn’t ask Randy why. I didn’t ask Steve to ask him for me. I figured it wasn’t my time to be with the group and I would audition the following year. I did, I went to call backs and in 2002 I started singing with MixedCo. It was the season that would change my life. A lot has happened in the past 8 years, I’ve left the group and come back to it, and I love it every year. Every season is a new challenge and a new chance for me to add to my bag of entertainment tricks. The friends I make through MixedCo continue to inspire me and change my life. I consider myself blessed to get to work with such wonderful people and learn from them throughout the Christmas season.
- Singing. There is nothing in the world I enjoy more than singing. Singing with people, singing alone…..it doesn’t matter. I love to sing. I love to tell stories through music. I love to make people laugh, make people think and make people cry. I would do it for free. I would do it for millions. I just want to sing. And, I have to say, standing next to Becca and meshing voices with her again felt like coming home. Like a sweater you pull out in the fall and put it on only to realize it still fits and is surprisingly more comfortable than the last time you wore it. I love my soprano.
- Hearing a song I arranged being sung by a quartet. We didn’t have bells and it was thrown together in 5 minutes, but hearing the notes I put on paper be sung by someone- well that was pretty special. I am so excited to hear the song in all its glory this season.
- Getting a free cup of coffee at the coffee bar at work.
- Watching four episodes of “The Office” and laughing while I sat in my own version of a sitcom.
- Something didn’t make me happy- but it made me laugh at yet another sign that the universe will give you what you want. I don’t know how well The Secret works in people’s lives, but every once in a while I see it come to such powerful fruition it knocks me out. For example, in 1999 I was doing a show at Moonlight down in Vista and was driving back to Fullerton every week for work and school. During one of the drives, around 11p at night after the show, I thought to myself “I’m really lucky to never have been stuck on the side of the road.” Ha! Literally ten minutes later my tire popped and I was stuck on the side of the road. If it hadn’t happened to me I wouldn’t believe it. Come to present day. Every day this week I have heated up my frozen meal and thought to myself, as I pulled the plastic wrap off the top, “wouldn’t it suck if I pulled the plastic off and dropped the plate?” I thought this EVERY DAY this week, thankful I wasn’t dropping my food. Guess what I did? I pulled the plastic off the top and dropped the plate of food all over the kitchen floor. I don’t know if that’s what they meant by The Secret, but apparently thinking things does make them come true.
- Watering the plants at Claudia’s house. Being around so much green made me really excited to have plants of my own and get ready for the patio I now get to call my own.
- Sleeping in my own place. I didn’t really sleep, between the outside noise and the lack of time between bedtime and wake up to run time, and the worry I was going to get burgled because there was no one around. But I was in my own bed and sleeping totally alone in the world.
- Eating at BJs with some people from MixedCo. Spent more than I should have and ate more than I should have. But it was really nice to have several hours just to hang out with my friends and laugh.
- Words with Friends is behaving itself again.
- $.99 coffee and a donut from 7-eleven. Not good for my bank account or my waistline, but a pink donut with sprinkle makes me smile.
- And, as always, the health and happiness of my family and friends. I am so lucky to be surrounded by people who love me and who work hard to make sure I know they care for me. It is a good feeling to know there are people in the world who want you around and like that you exist.
- Singing. There is nothing in the world I enjoy more than singing. Singing with people, singing alone…..it doesn’t matter. I love to sing. I love to tell stories through music. I love to make people laugh, make people think and make people cry. I would do it for free. I would do it for millions. I just want to sing. And, I have to say, standing next to Becca and meshing voices with her again felt like coming home. Like a sweater you pull out in the fall and put it on only to realize it still fits and is surprisingly more comfortable than the last time you wore it. I love my soprano.
- Hearing a song I arranged being sung by a quartet. We didn’t have bells and it was thrown together in 5 minutes, but hearing the notes I put on paper be sung by someone- well that was pretty special. I am so excited to hear the song in all its glory this season.
- Getting a free cup of coffee at the coffee bar at work.
- Watching four episodes of “The Office” and laughing while I sat in my own version of a sitcom.
- Something didn’t make me happy- but it made me laugh at yet another sign that the universe will give you what you want. I don’t know how well The Secret works in people’s lives, but every once in a while I see it come to such powerful fruition it knocks me out. For example, in 1999 I was doing a show at Moonlight down in Vista and was driving back to Fullerton every week for work and school. During one of the drives, around 11p at night after the show, I thought to myself “I’m really lucky to never have been stuck on the side of the road.” Ha! Literally ten minutes later my tire popped and I was stuck on the side of the road. If it hadn’t happened to me I wouldn’t believe it. Come to present day. Every day this week I have heated up my frozen meal and thought to myself, as I pulled the plastic wrap off the top, “wouldn’t it suck if I pulled the plastic off and dropped the plate?” I thought this EVERY DAY this week, thankful I wasn’t dropping my food. Guess what I did? I pulled the plastic off the top and dropped the plate of food all over the kitchen floor. I don’t know if that’s what they meant by The Secret, but apparently thinking things does make them come true.
- Watering the plants at Claudia’s house. Being around so much green made me really excited to have plants of my own and get ready for the patio I now get to call my own.
- Sleeping in my own place. I didn’t really sleep, between the outside noise and the lack of time between bedtime and wake up to run time, and the worry I was going to get burgled because there was no one around. But I was in my own bed and sleeping totally alone in the world.
- Eating at BJs with some people from MixedCo. Spent more than I should have and ate more than I should have. But it was really nice to have several hours just to hang out with my friends and laugh.
- Words with Friends is behaving itself again.
- $.99 coffee and a donut from 7-eleven. Not good for my bank account or my waistline, but a pink donut with sprinkle makes me smile.
- And, as always, the health and happiness of my family and friends. I am so lucky to be surrounded by people who love me and who work hard to make sure I know they care for me. It is a good feeling to know there are people in the world who want you around and like that you exist.
Wednesday, September 8, 2010
What made me happy 7 Sept 2010
Things that made me happy Tuesday 7 Sept 2010
- Running with Kiersten in the morning. I love getting up and getting out and doing something. Having such a good friend who will come that early and do it with me, well that’s just a blessing I’m not sure I’m worth. It is a gift of time to have an hour with my best friend, just her and I talking and being girls and figuring life out.
- Having a job to come to. I know I am lucky to be working. I am thankful of that every day. There are people all over the world who are hungry and want to work. I am very lucky to have a paycheck every two weeks and a safe place to work.
- Having hulu.com to watch while I sit at my desk.
- Having good people to work with. I don’t hate anyone here. I hate being here, but at least the people are nice and not too crazy.
- Having the $2 for coffee and a donut.
- Going to rehearsal and getting to be creative, even if only for a little time. This show is an interesting experience for me, something I am very lucky to be doing. Every time I do a show I learn something and Smokey’ Joe’s Café is no different. I am not a “soul-full” singer (I’m much more comfortable singing a standard at a piano) and playing Patty is allowing me to become freer with my voice and body. It is interesting to be inside my head during this process. (Most people would say it’s interesting to be inside my head any time I do anything. Can we say tangent?) I want to know why I do things, why I feel things, why I have so many hang ups. Why don’t I feel sexy and comfortable in my skin? Why aren’t I embracing the passion that comes with needing to just riff and wail and let it out? I know that I am going to grow as an artist doing this show. And I’m excited to see where I end up.
- Having amazing friends and family in my life to keep a smile on my face and lightness in my heart.
My life is good. Not ideal and not where I thought I’d be. I want so much more from my life than I have. But hopefully these daily affirmations of the good will keep reminding me of the good. And sending out what I want will bring it to me.
- I will have a better paying job with higher responsibility and more stature.
- I will book a cruise ship as a singer/performer and travel around the world before I come home for good.
- I will unpack and have a studio that will remain clean and uncluttered and inviting for the good in the world.
- I will be health, happy and successful in this life.
- Running with Kiersten in the morning. I love getting up and getting out and doing something. Having such a good friend who will come that early and do it with me, well that’s just a blessing I’m not sure I’m worth. It is a gift of time to have an hour with my best friend, just her and I talking and being girls and figuring life out.
- Having a job to come to. I know I am lucky to be working. I am thankful of that every day. There are people all over the world who are hungry and want to work. I am very lucky to have a paycheck every two weeks and a safe place to work.
- Having hulu.com to watch while I sit at my desk.
- Having good people to work with. I don’t hate anyone here. I hate being here, but at least the people are nice and not too crazy.
- Having the $2 for coffee and a donut.
- Going to rehearsal and getting to be creative, even if only for a little time. This show is an interesting experience for me, something I am very lucky to be doing. Every time I do a show I learn something and Smokey’ Joe’s Café is no different. I am not a “soul-full” singer (I’m much more comfortable singing a standard at a piano) and playing Patty is allowing me to become freer with my voice and body. It is interesting to be inside my head during this process. (Most people would say it’s interesting to be inside my head any time I do anything. Can we say tangent?) I want to know why I do things, why I feel things, why I have so many hang ups. Why don’t I feel sexy and comfortable in my skin? Why aren’t I embracing the passion that comes with needing to just riff and wail and let it out? I know that I am going to grow as an artist doing this show. And I’m excited to see where I end up.
- Having amazing friends and family in my life to keep a smile on my face and lightness in my heart.
My life is good. Not ideal and not where I thought I’d be. I want so much more from my life than I have. But hopefully these daily affirmations of the good will keep reminding me of the good. And sending out what I want will bring it to me.
- I will have a better paying job with higher responsibility and more stature.
- I will book a cruise ship as a singer/performer and travel around the world before I come home for good.
- I will unpack and have a studio that will remain clean and uncluttered and inviting for the good in the world.
- I will be health, happy and successful in this life.
Tuesday, July 27, 2010
Soft Good Log Days 1 & 2
Yesterday I got a temporary crown put on my top left molar. That makes a total of 2 temps, one on each side of my mouth. Instructions while wearing temporary crowns include no eating anything crunchy (popcorn, chips, raw veggies, nuts), no eating anything hard, no eating anything chewy (taffy, gum, gummies, licorice, etc) and nothing I think will pull the temporary off. Being an extremist about things, I decided to go totally soft foods- no chewing at all. Plus it’s easier for me to just go all out. I’m not good with moderation. The pain of the procedure might also have something to do with it. My mouth still hurts from Friday’s visit and when I attempted chewing soft cheese on one of the sides I flinched in pain. So no chewing it is.
I thought to myself, lying there in pain, drooling and waiting for the mold to set, “What a great time to lose these extra stubborn lbs and I’ll blog about it!” It’s only two weeks and I’m sure I’m not the only one in the world who has had to live like this. So for the next two weeks I will write every day and talk about the day, how I handled my routine with this huge change, what I ate, and how I’m feeling about it.
Yesterday (Monday) I left the dentist’s office feeling like I’d been hit by a bus. The entire left side of my face was numb with the Novocain and I was exhausted from sitting the chair for over 2 hours, cold and tense. Harry Potter is tge only thing that saved me. I went back to work and sat at my desk, fairly miserable for the rest of the day. I didn’t eat anything until around 2p, when I slurped down a yogurt and a hot (lukewarm) chocolate. By the time I got to my car to drive to rehearsal I was even more tired, and starving. My drive to rehearsal, which is 23 miles away, takes about an hour with mild traffic. (One more reason to get OUT of Los Angeles, but that’s a different story.) I usually make my dinner and eat it as I drive- a sandwich, veggies and dip, almonds and string cheese. Something to keep my mind busy while I sit stalled on the freeway. Yesterday I ate peanut butter. Small spoonful after small spoonful of organic creamy peanut butter. And it worked! I was full, wasn’t bored and didn’t hurt my teeth. At break during rehearsal I tried to eat some veggie soup. No luck. Even the softened veggies were too much to take on. I drank as much broth as possible and then dumped it. I knew I would have to head to the grocery store and rethink, and rebudget, my food for the week.
I went to Ralph’s on the way home. Thank goodness for 24 hour stores! I walked around the store, hungry, and kept having to pull myself away from anything I would have to chew. It's not an easy task. Nor a cheap one. I filled my cart with four large protein smoothies, 5 yogurts, 3 tubs of ready to eat mashed potatoes, tomato soup and frozen yogurt. $55 later, I was set at least for four days. Not a cheap diet to be on. I ate one of the yogurts in the parking lot before I left. It’s now midnight and going for 6 hours without eating is never a good idea. I got home and had a small serving of frozen yogurt to quench my still growling stomach and then went to sleep.
Day 2:
Woke up this morning and weighed myself. A healthy 164lbs. Too much for my frame, even considering the extra weight of toned muscles. Have to lose this belly so my already high risk of heart disease doesn’t get any worse. I had a smoothie for breakfast and then again for my snack. Things are actually going alright. I have 3 more hours of work to go and then rehearsal. I had a non-fat, plain greek yogurt with honey for lunch and a glass of V-8 low sodium veggie juice. I’ll have a hot chocolate and coffee at about 3p, some jello (I work at a hospital and jello is always available), the frosting off a cupcake at my good friends’ afternoon birthday celebration and then one of the mashed potato tubs to entertain me for the drive home. Not ideal meal, but it’s going to taste sooooo good.
Tonight I’m also going for a 45 minute run, so we’ll see how I feel after that. I’m taking my now veggie-less soup to eat as my snack during rehearsal and I still have the jar of peanut butter sitting in my passenger seat for the drive home. I’ll do swimmingly.
The goal for these two weeks:
- Not chew anything so my teeth have a fighting chance to heal and get ready for the permanent crowns
- Eat healthy and keep the low-no dairy and low-no sugar
- Watch how my body reacts to the no chewing diet. Is my tummy happier? Do I stay full longer? Do I have more bowel movements? Less?
- Lose at least a few pounds of honest to goodness weight, not water weight
- Not lose any friends or co-workers with my inability to maintain a conversation because all I want to do is chew on something
- Prove to the nay-sayers in my life that I CAN follow doctor orders and I will succeed in this
I’m always excited for new challenges and I LOVE a goal. Two weeks is totally doable. Even adding in training for my marathon and teching, then opening, a vocally difficult show, I know I can go these weeks without chewing anything.
Long live mashed potatoes and pudding!!
I thought to myself, lying there in pain, drooling and waiting for the mold to set, “What a great time to lose these extra stubborn lbs and I’ll blog about it!” It’s only two weeks and I’m sure I’m not the only one in the world who has had to live like this. So for the next two weeks I will write every day and talk about the day, how I handled my routine with this huge change, what I ate, and how I’m feeling about it.
Yesterday (Monday) I left the dentist’s office feeling like I’d been hit by a bus. The entire left side of my face was numb with the Novocain and I was exhausted from sitting the chair for over 2 hours, cold and tense. Harry Potter is tge only thing that saved me. I went back to work and sat at my desk, fairly miserable for the rest of the day. I didn’t eat anything until around 2p, when I slurped down a yogurt and a hot (lukewarm) chocolate. By the time I got to my car to drive to rehearsal I was even more tired, and starving. My drive to rehearsal, which is 23 miles away, takes about an hour with mild traffic. (One more reason to get OUT of Los Angeles, but that’s a different story.) I usually make my dinner and eat it as I drive- a sandwich, veggies and dip, almonds and string cheese. Something to keep my mind busy while I sit stalled on the freeway. Yesterday I ate peanut butter. Small spoonful after small spoonful of organic creamy peanut butter. And it worked! I was full, wasn’t bored and didn’t hurt my teeth. At break during rehearsal I tried to eat some veggie soup. No luck. Even the softened veggies were too much to take on. I drank as much broth as possible and then dumped it. I knew I would have to head to the grocery store and rethink, and rebudget, my food for the week.
I went to Ralph’s on the way home. Thank goodness for 24 hour stores! I walked around the store, hungry, and kept having to pull myself away from anything I would have to chew. It's not an easy task. Nor a cheap one. I filled my cart with four large protein smoothies, 5 yogurts, 3 tubs of ready to eat mashed potatoes, tomato soup and frozen yogurt. $55 later, I was set at least for four days. Not a cheap diet to be on. I ate one of the yogurts in the parking lot before I left. It’s now midnight and going for 6 hours without eating is never a good idea. I got home and had a small serving of frozen yogurt to quench my still growling stomach and then went to sleep.
Day 2:
Woke up this morning and weighed myself. A healthy 164lbs. Too much for my frame, even considering the extra weight of toned muscles. Have to lose this belly so my already high risk of heart disease doesn’t get any worse. I had a smoothie for breakfast and then again for my snack. Things are actually going alright. I have 3 more hours of work to go and then rehearsal. I had a non-fat, plain greek yogurt with honey for lunch and a glass of V-8 low sodium veggie juice. I’ll have a hot chocolate and coffee at about 3p, some jello (I work at a hospital and jello is always available), the frosting off a cupcake at my good friends’ afternoon birthday celebration and then one of the mashed potato tubs to entertain me for the drive home. Not ideal meal, but it’s going to taste sooooo good.
Tonight I’m also going for a 45 minute run, so we’ll see how I feel after that. I’m taking my now veggie-less soup to eat as my snack during rehearsal and I still have the jar of peanut butter sitting in my passenger seat for the drive home. I’ll do swimmingly.
The goal for these two weeks:
- Not chew anything so my teeth have a fighting chance to heal and get ready for the permanent crowns
- Eat healthy and keep the low-no dairy and low-no sugar
- Watch how my body reacts to the no chewing diet. Is my tummy happier? Do I stay full longer? Do I have more bowel movements? Less?
- Lose at least a few pounds of honest to goodness weight, not water weight
- Not lose any friends or co-workers with my inability to maintain a conversation because all I want to do is chew on something
- Prove to the nay-sayers in my life that I CAN follow doctor orders and I will succeed in this
I’m always excited for new challenges and I LOVE a goal. Two weeks is totally doable. Even adding in training for my marathon and teching, then opening, a vocally difficult show, I know I can go these weeks without chewing anything.
Long live mashed potatoes and pudding!!
Wednesday, July 7, 2010
Biological what?
This weekend I went home and held the new baby. A lot. I also got to hang out with my 13-yr-old sister a lot. She continues to amaze me with her personality and her genuine niceness. She is a good girl. She's a good addition to this world. With everything she has been through (divorce, dad’s death, and drama with the step-sister) she continues to amaze me with her positive outlook on life, her love of people and her desire to do good in this world.
Between those two things (baby and teenager) I got a flash of desire I haven’t had before- to raise a good child. I saw myself as a mom in a house with a kid and a dog and family dinners and life lessons. I saw myself sitting in an audience at their graduation. I saw myself sitting in the pews at their wedding. I saw myself as a grandmother, making macaroni pictures and clay horse sculptures. I have never had those images flash through my mind before. And I have never been so at ease with the thought before.
In years past I have not wanted children for a number of reasons. I don’t believe in putting more stress onto our environment. That’s a big one. I always said I would adopt a baby when the time came. I didn’t want the pressure of being responsible for another life. I didn’t want the hard life of never knowing what was going to happen and worrying every second of my life. But mostly I didn’t want to have a child because I didn’t want to see the life I wanted to live be played out in another person’s life. I know that is selfish. It’s totally selfish. But it’s true. I want to go to college again. I want to have my first boyfriend and my first date and my first “promise ring” again. I want to have that freedom of the world being at my finger tips and I just need to go get it. I didn’t want to see someone else get the life I wanted.
Isn’t that just silly? Kids add to life. Families enrich life. My family is why I can’t seem to make up my mind what I want to do with my life. The bond I have to my family is what keeps me in California, keeps me close to home and keeps me driving up and down the state all year long. My family is what brings me to tears at night when I’m lying alone and questioning what the hell I’m doing. My family is also the support that I need to be able to go do what I want. The support I have when I feel like I have nothing. And growing that family, being closer to that family, is the most important thing to me.
So, the biological clock? The thing I thought was a myth and that I would be able to silence the call? Not so much. I feel the pull. I feel the desire to share my life with someone. I probably won’t have a child because of the reasons I stated before. I have a lot I want to do in this life. There is a whole world I want to see. I want my MFA and my MBA and a good job and a dog and a home. But the ticking is getting harder to silence as the years go by and I realize that time is running out. There’s no other way to think about that. And harder to silence as I realize that maybe the life I think I want will only be enhanced when I have someone to love so fully my heart explodes. Then I’ll help them pick out the best colleges and date the right people.
Between those two things (baby and teenager) I got a flash of desire I haven’t had before- to raise a good child. I saw myself as a mom in a house with a kid and a dog and family dinners and life lessons. I saw myself sitting in an audience at their graduation. I saw myself sitting in the pews at their wedding. I saw myself as a grandmother, making macaroni pictures and clay horse sculptures. I have never had those images flash through my mind before. And I have never been so at ease with the thought before.
In years past I have not wanted children for a number of reasons. I don’t believe in putting more stress onto our environment. That’s a big one. I always said I would adopt a baby when the time came. I didn’t want the pressure of being responsible for another life. I didn’t want the hard life of never knowing what was going to happen and worrying every second of my life. But mostly I didn’t want to have a child because I didn’t want to see the life I wanted to live be played out in another person’s life. I know that is selfish. It’s totally selfish. But it’s true. I want to go to college again. I want to have my first boyfriend and my first date and my first “promise ring” again. I want to have that freedom of the world being at my finger tips and I just need to go get it. I didn’t want to see someone else get the life I wanted.
Isn’t that just silly? Kids add to life. Families enrich life. My family is why I can’t seem to make up my mind what I want to do with my life. The bond I have to my family is what keeps me in California, keeps me close to home and keeps me driving up and down the state all year long. My family is what brings me to tears at night when I’m lying alone and questioning what the hell I’m doing. My family is also the support that I need to be able to go do what I want. The support I have when I feel like I have nothing. And growing that family, being closer to that family, is the most important thing to me.
So, the biological clock? The thing I thought was a myth and that I would be able to silence the call? Not so much. I feel the pull. I feel the desire to share my life with someone. I probably won’t have a child because of the reasons I stated before. I have a lot I want to do in this life. There is a whole world I want to see. I want my MFA and my MBA and a good job and a dog and a home. But the ticking is getting harder to silence as the years go by and I realize that time is running out. There’s no other way to think about that. And harder to silence as I realize that maybe the life I think I want will only be enhanced when I have someone to love so fully my heart explodes. Then I’ll help them pick out the best colleges and date the right people.
Wednesday, June 30, 2010
Closing of half the year
Tomorrow is July 1st, meaning today is the final day of June. It is also the final day of the 6th month, giving us 6 whole months of 2010 left. 181 days down, 184 days left. About halfway. In my years I have come to realize that the second half of the year goes significantly faster than the first half, meaning I don’t have much time left to celebrate the glory that is 2010.
In the first six months of this year I have received my certification for massage, performed in 2 plays (currently rehearsing for my third), paid off $7000 of my debt, taken three massage classes and am currently studying online in my marketing class. I have paid off my Greece trip (except airfare) and I have lost two inches around my waist. No weight loss, but inches lost. I consistently worked a 40+ hour week and kept myself out of trouble….for the most part. 2010 has been a wonderful year so far, as I continue to push myself to be better and do better. I am proud of what I have done and the path that I am on to do more.
As my good friend Jess says- I am being proactive and I am working toward something.
Here are what my 2010 New Years Resolutions are and let’s see if I have kept to them.
- No fast food.
o I have stuck to this. I have not been to a drive through or eaten food from any fast food chain. I have eaten crap- don’t get me wrong. But no McD’s, Taco Bell, Del Taco, Burger King, etc. This is a resolution I am so happy I did and I am so proud that I have stuck to. I feel good and I now know that it is possible to live without fast food. For those people out there who say “I could never” listen to this- YES YOU CAN! There are thousands of options that don’t include genetically modified food that comes from a freezer. You can do it!
- Watch a new movie every week
o I have kind of done this. I get Netflix every month and unlimited watching on the computer. I also go to the library and get movies to watch at home. Add all that in and I have watched a new movie every week. Some better than others and some I wish I hadn’t wasted the 45 minutes on. Because that’s what a movie gets from me. You have 45 minutes to interest me. If I feel compelled to turn the movie off, I will. Usually I don’t but having this “rule” allows me to not feel bad when a movie is just horrible!
- Hit the gym 5 times a week.
o I have done this as well as I can. The resolution should have been “Work out 5 times a week” because I have done that. When I did the boot camp, I didn’t go to the gym, but I did work out. Doing The Follies I don’t go to the gym but I do work out, including a 30 min stretch and warm up before every show. So giving those parameters, I have kept this resolution.
- One letter mailed every week
o I have not kept up with this one. I don’t think I have even written more than 10 letters this whole six months. And I don’t like that about myself. I want to be more interactive with the people in my life. On the one hand, I am because facebook allows me to keep up with so many people at all hours of the day. On the other hand, that’s not a hand written letter to someone, giving them my full attention. I can do better.
The resolutions are going strong and I will continue with them. I will not eat fast food, continue to watch movies weekly, continue to work out 5x a week and I will write one letter a week and mail it out.
Here are the goals I wrote down for 2010
- Pay off entire debt
- Repay myself for Massage School costs
- Book a ship dancing or singing
- Apply for MFA (Nov)
- Book continuous shows
- Edit movie reel
- Get new headshots
- Record MTones Christmas album
- Record own Christmas album
- Apply for a Grammy
- Write lounge act for Vegas/cabaret
- Get down to 145lbs
- Get a dog and start training for agility trials
Those are great goals. And some of them I have attained. I have booked continuous shows since the first of the year, I am working my ass off to pay down my debt and get down to 145 lbs. I am going to keep these goals because I believe they are all still attainable. And I am going to add a few more now that I see where I am in the year.
- Raise $3000 through ALM for American Heart Association during the Long Beach 1/2 Marathon in October (www.actinglikemarathoners.webs.com)
- Finish Greece marathon in under 5:15
- Blog five times a week on both my blogs
- Get an A in my summer marketing class and an A average in my 4 classes this fall
- Take the GMAT and score above a 600
- Apply to schools for MBA/MFA program
- De-clutter house and maintain better organization/cleanliness
- Return to vegan diet
- Move to new apartment
- Get a new day job that makes me happy
- Open a savings account for Daniel, Jonathan and Emily- depositing $10/month each
I am proud of myself for what I have accomplished so far in 2010. I am proud of the person I am and the relationships I have. I am working hard to be a better entertainer, a better daughter, a better sister, a better aunt, a better friend and a better human on this earth. I am on a path and I know it’s a good one. This is a good life I have for myself. And it can only get better.
In the first six months of this year I have received my certification for massage, performed in 2 plays (currently rehearsing for my third), paid off $7000 of my debt, taken three massage classes and am currently studying online in my marketing class. I have paid off my Greece trip (except airfare) and I have lost two inches around my waist. No weight loss, but inches lost. I consistently worked a 40+ hour week and kept myself out of trouble….for the most part. 2010 has been a wonderful year so far, as I continue to push myself to be better and do better. I am proud of what I have done and the path that I am on to do more.
As my good friend Jess says- I am being proactive and I am working toward something.
Here are what my 2010 New Years Resolutions are and let’s see if I have kept to them.
- No fast food.
o I have stuck to this. I have not been to a drive through or eaten food from any fast food chain. I have eaten crap- don’t get me wrong. But no McD’s, Taco Bell, Del Taco, Burger King, etc. This is a resolution I am so happy I did and I am so proud that I have stuck to. I feel good and I now know that it is possible to live without fast food. For those people out there who say “I could never” listen to this- YES YOU CAN! There are thousands of options that don’t include genetically modified food that comes from a freezer. You can do it!
- Watch a new movie every week
o I have kind of done this. I get Netflix every month and unlimited watching on the computer. I also go to the library and get movies to watch at home. Add all that in and I have watched a new movie every week. Some better than others and some I wish I hadn’t wasted the 45 minutes on. Because that’s what a movie gets from me. You have 45 minutes to interest me. If I feel compelled to turn the movie off, I will. Usually I don’t but having this “rule” allows me to not feel bad when a movie is just horrible!
- Hit the gym 5 times a week.
o I have done this as well as I can. The resolution should have been “Work out 5 times a week” because I have done that. When I did the boot camp, I didn’t go to the gym, but I did work out. Doing The Follies I don’t go to the gym but I do work out, including a 30 min stretch and warm up before every show. So giving those parameters, I have kept this resolution.
- One letter mailed every week
o I have not kept up with this one. I don’t think I have even written more than 10 letters this whole six months. And I don’t like that about myself. I want to be more interactive with the people in my life. On the one hand, I am because facebook allows me to keep up with so many people at all hours of the day. On the other hand, that’s not a hand written letter to someone, giving them my full attention. I can do better.
The resolutions are going strong and I will continue with them. I will not eat fast food, continue to watch movies weekly, continue to work out 5x a week and I will write one letter a week and mail it out.
Here are the goals I wrote down for 2010
- Pay off entire debt
- Repay myself for Massage School costs
- Book a ship dancing or singing
- Apply for MFA (Nov)
- Book continuous shows
- Edit movie reel
- Get new headshots
- Record MTones Christmas album
- Record own Christmas album
- Apply for a Grammy
- Write lounge act for Vegas/cabaret
- Get down to 145lbs
- Get a dog and start training for agility trials
Those are great goals. And some of them I have attained. I have booked continuous shows since the first of the year, I am working my ass off to pay down my debt and get down to 145 lbs. I am going to keep these goals because I believe they are all still attainable. And I am going to add a few more now that I see where I am in the year.
- Raise $3000 through ALM for American Heart Association during the Long Beach 1/2 Marathon in October (www.actinglikemarathoners.webs.com)
- Finish Greece marathon in under 5:15
- Blog five times a week on both my blogs
- Get an A in my summer marketing class and an A average in my 4 classes this fall
- Take the GMAT and score above a 600
- Apply to schools for MBA/MFA program
- De-clutter house and maintain better organization/cleanliness
- Return to vegan diet
- Move to new apartment
- Get a new day job that makes me happy
- Open a savings account for Daniel, Jonathan and Emily- depositing $10/month each
I am proud of myself for what I have accomplished so far in 2010. I am proud of the person I am and the relationships I have. I am working hard to be a better entertainer, a better daughter, a better sister, a better aunt, a better friend and a better human on this earth. I am on a path and I know it’s a good one. This is a good life I have for myself. And it can only get better.
Tuesday, June 29, 2010
Almost a wasted day
Today at work I sat. And sat. And then sat some more. However, sprinkled in with all the sitting I did get some things done.
- I read rescue stories on PetFinder and dreamed of when I get a dog.
- I took the quiz for Chapter 1 in my marketing and promotions class. I love this class. It's all about how companies build their marketing to promote their product. More and more I'm realizing that this is something I would like to do and will actually be good at.
- I submitted my resume to six jobs I feel I would be good at. I don't have any marketing or public relations experience, but I'm certain I could succeed in the field.
- I looked at cabins to rent for a week in August up at Big Bear.
- I pulled more information on Grad schools and MBAs. More and more I am leaning towards Chapman which offers an international MBA where I'd study in Prague for 6mos. (more on that later)
- I watched three episodes of 'Southern Belles of Louisville'. Good times. And I wondered how they got their make up so flawless and their hair so straight.
So not totally a wasted day. Plus there was cake!
- I read rescue stories on PetFinder and dreamed of when I get a dog.
- I took the quiz for Chapter 1 in my marketing and promotions class. I love this class. It's all about how companies build their marketing to promote their product. More and more I'm realizing that this is something I would like to do and will actually be good at.
- I submitted my resume to six jobs I feel I would be good at. I don't have any marketing or public relations experience, but I'm certain I could succeed in the field.
- I looked at cabins to rent for a week in August up at Big Bear.
- I pulled more information on Grad schools and MBAs. More and more I am leaning towards Chapman which offers an international MBA where I'd study in Prague for 6mos. (more on that later)
- I watched three episodes of 'Southern Belles of Louisville'. Good times. And I wondered how they got their make up so flawless and their hair so straight.
So not totally a wasted day. Plus there was cake!
Monday, June 21, 2010
New baby time!
My nephew was born Friday here in Sacramento. He is perfect. When my sister had baby#1 I was worried about losing her to the kid. To being a mom. To her own family. Then I met him and fell so madly in love I couldn't stand it. He was amazing and added so much to my life. I know that this new boy will do the same.
I am so proud of my sister for bringing in a healthy, happy boy to this world. She's healthy and other than the soreness she's doing fine.
I love my sister so much. She's given me another glorious nephew an I could not be happier for our family.
I am so proud of my sister for bringing in a healthy, happy boy to this world. She's healthy and other than the soreness she's doing fine.
I love my sister so much. She's given me another glorious nephew an I could not be happier for our family.
Thursday, June 17, 2010
Small Comparisons
Today I watched three different sitcoms on hulu.com.
One friend walked along the streets of Paris and drank french wine.
Today I took a nap in my car during my lunch.
Another friend painted the womens center at her church in Dominica.
Today I read about becoming a flight attendant in an effort to dream about a new life.
One friend auditioned for a national tour.
Today I ate cold refried beans and salsa because they were free.
Another friend spent the day on her boat.
Today I sat at a desk for 9 hours, got into a tiff with a coworker over nothing of consequence and made five pots of coffee.
I have a friend who is in Italy for two weeks on vacation.
I'm going to get out of this job. I'm going to live a more exciting life. I'm going to make something of myself.
Today I get to go to the theater and sing and dance in one of the best shows on the circuit right now. No one else has had the day I have had. And, all things considered, it was a good one.
One friend walked along the streets of Paris and drank french wine.
Today I took a nap in my car during my lunch.
Another friend painted the womens center at her church in Dominica.
Today I read about becoming a flight attendant in an effort to dream about a new life.
One friend auditioned for a national tour.
Today I ate cold refried beans and salsa because they were free.
Another friend spent the day on her boat.
Today I sat at a desk for 9 hours, got into a tiff with a coworker over nothing of consequence and made five pots of coffee.
I have a friend who is in Italy for two weeks on vacation.
I'm going to get out of this job. I'm going to live a more exciting life. I'm going to make something of myself.
Today I get to go to the theater and sing and dance in one of the best shows on the circuit right now. No one else has had the day I have had. And, all things considered, it was a good one.
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