Can't stop the crying

I have been crying for two hours now. I have a headache and am wide awake. Not so good for the audition that I have to be at tomorrow morning. But that's not why I'm writing.

I just reread my blogs from last year. There is so much I left out. I hope to be able to go back through those two months and fill in some blanks. I wrote in my journal a lot. Just wish I was able to take the memories I have visually in my head and put them on paper. Turn the feelings and rushed of emotions I feel when I think about him into words so you could feel it too. I am scared I'll forget him. So maybe if I write down everything I remember, that won't happen.

Been missing everyone recently. Wonder if something is going to happen. Miss grandma more and more. Miss grandpa Lou a lot. And grandma Marge is even making an apperance more often than usual. Maybe it's just the passing of time. The realization that their absence in my life is permanent. Permanent and painful.

Going to take a few Mortin and try to sleep. It's a valiant effort.