I have a ton of time on my hands at work. I sit in front of a computer and wait for people to give me something to do, come in and ask for directions to a conference room, or for the coffee pot to get cold so I can make more. I try to walk around as much as possible so my ass doesn’t get large. I spent all last week obsessing about how much money was going to be coming in and where it was all going to go. I printed out the last six months of statements from my AmEx card, the card where all my debt lives, and started matching up payments to things that I have “paid off” so I have a visual idea of what I am sending each bill for. It is helping. I also made an Excel sheet with a column money coming in and money going out. It is really helping me see where I am spending my money and how to curtail it before it gets crazy. Who knew living on a budget was something I could actually do!
Every Monday I get my free tarot reading from msn.com and look at how it could effect my life. It has been interesting to see which days are right on the money and which days are really way off. But it fills some time.
Last week I was having dinner with a friend and I researched and printed out the Best Of OC for 2008 to give us some ideas for places to go for dinner.
I have taken quizzes on which dog breed is right for me, then cut and pasted pictures so I would have a visual clue when I go to rescue shelters.
I have taken quizzes to help me know which careers would be good for me. I applied to Santa Monica College so I can take an online business course this summer. I have compared salaries for if I became a massage therapist, a physical therapist, a rap star or a day care center owner. I have found my personality color, my driving force number and learned the best ways to keep a Jewish man happy in a marriage.
But too much time online does become more than someone needs. I am actually bored. And I realized, as I continued to find websites and read articles, that I may be running out of things to do in my life as a single woman.
In an article on MSN.com yesterday I found a woman who gave the top things one should do before they get into a relationship. Things that only a single person can do and should be enjoying. Upon further googling I found many many lists like this. I also found list about why it’s great to be married, the top things you should do once you’re divorced, and how to have an affair with your kids teacher. Lots of information out there.
As far as the list for living the single life and loving it? I’ve done them all. Here are a few from the lists I have found.
Date a guy who's totally wrong for you just because he has amazing abs.
Collect at least six country stamps on your passport, including one from a place that until recently you didn't even know existed.
Embrace feminine decor.
Take advantage of the whole bed.
Spend an embarrassing amount of money on a designer bag you love or heels that make you feel incredibly sexy.
Learn how to change a tire and work a drill.
Get a grip on your dough.
Hone a signature lingerie style.
Want a cat? Heed this advice: Buy it now.
If all you feel like eating for dinner is ice cream and diet soda, buy a cone and pop a Coke, do it.
Use tons of hot water in the a.m.
Take your celeb crush to the max.
Plan your fantasy wedding.
Start a pleasure ritual that a change in your relationship status can't disturb.
Set up your home in a way that fits your needs.
Get a hobby
Learn to take care of yourself
Travel alone
Be single
Celebrate you
There is also the idea that when the time is right, the right person will come into my life. I bought that last year when my dad was sick and I was thankful to have the freedom to go home. Then when he passed it wasn’t the time because I was still mourning. So I continue to wait.
And getting special recognition- Be happy with being single, complete yourself as a person, and the right person will come alone. Well that’s just silly. I am complete as a person. I bought that BS two years ago when I was detoxing from serial monogamy, but now I’m all set. I love me, I love where I am and I love where my life is going. So what is the universe waiting for now?
The interesting thing is not that I have done these things. I have been single for almost three years. I’ve had time to hone the single life and live the free-as-a-bird dream. What I find most interesting is that I want more lists. I want a list that is more……well, just more. I need another list of thigns to cross off so I can keep myself busy and fulfilling while I’m here.
So here is my ever-changing, always exciting, very fulfilling list of things to do while I’m single. These are things I haven’t done yet, but will.
Train an animal for a specific, selfless reason. In my case it will be as a puppy trainer or with a therapy dog.
Buy a car without asking for help on that day. I’ll ask for advice prior and go to everyone I can think of. But the day I sign the papers and drive that car home- it is all me.
Design my dream home and where I want it to be.
Learn how to make truffles.
Go to a bar, sit alone, and collect phone numbers. Maybe I’ll call, maybe I won’t. But I will go home knowing that I am a desired woman.
Get published. Once I’m happily in a relationship it’s going to be hard to get work as a single girl writer. I need to find my voice before I can have it changed.
Let go of the “I never have and I never will.” Disappointments in life are inevitable. I seem to carry a lot more around with me than I need to. They range from not having a family younger so I can have years without them when I’m older to going to the “wrong” college and wishing I could go back. I have got to live in the now and realize that the decisions I made are what brought me here. The ease of which I let go of my dream to dance with the American Ballet Company has to be applied to my disappointment that I’m not married to a millionaire.
These are the ones I can think of now. I’m sure that on my way to class or as I run tomorrow morning, I will think of more. But what I need to remember is that there is someone out there who loves me. There is someone out there who is looking for me. And that while finding someone to love you and to love in return is a gift and a version of completion, ultimately I am really good as I am and I will be, no matter the path relationships take in my life.
Thanks for listening.
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