Spring Dreaming - Question 5

Question 5 - What are the 5 things that make you most happy right now?

1- ......thinking......

2- My pupster, Molly, makes me happy. She frustrates me with her need for petting, and her constant licking and her inability to just chill sometimes. But it is such a delight to have a smiling dog greet me at the front door when I get home. It is a treat to watch her bounce up and down when she realizes we are going out. It's like she has springs for paws! And it is so very very very nice to not be alone in the moments when you feel totally alone. Everything they say about owning a dog is true. It's a treat.

3- The promise of tomorrow makes me happy. I have calmed myself down about where I live and the fact that I have to work these two jobs to make and save some money. I have calmed down about taking a year to regroup and refocus and do what I need to do. I think the fact that I am finding peace in that makes it easier and more exciting to look to tomorrow. I am not scared of tomorrow or anxious or anything like that. I am ready for tomorrow. I'm excited about it. And I am happy there is going to be a tomorrow and it is going to be better.

4- My family makes me happy. I love sending them texts and calling them. I love that my mom sends me pictures of her puppy at the horse shows and Emily as she gets ready for prom. I love that I can talk with Cristin about anything and, even if we argue, we are totally good and will work through it. I love that I drink scotch with my Uncle Tim. I love that everyone in my family truly loves each other, even if they can't currently be in the same room with them.

5- Pintrest makes me happy. Damn that website!! I still get awful panic attacks and feelings of inadequacy. But the Geek boards and the Humor boards make the quiet days at work totally bearable. I get a good laugh every time I get on that site and it makes me very happy.

See you tomorrow!!

Always a New Christmas Tradition

The last day of school, my friend Katie at BSA asked us all what our Christmas traditions were. She's 24 and this was the first time she had been away from home so close to the holidays. I mentioned a few things that my family did when I was growing up, but it was hard to find something in the past few years that I did every year. I was almost bothered by it until I realized that my tradition is to find new traditions.

This year I am home for Christmas. This hasn't happened in five years. I am usually out caroling and drive home the day afte Christmas for a few days of celebration. I miss my caroling traditions (the gigs we always do, the pizza party we have, the dinners and the Knott's Christmas) and I miss my friends. I miss the man that I love terribly and I miss spending the holidays with him. We have our own traditions and the season is a little off because I don't have him around me every day. But the gift of time with my family helps to make up for all of that. And I am comforted knowing that this is the last year I sleep without him on Christmas Eve.

Because I am home for the first time in years, and my mother is living in a new house, this is a new year of traditions for my family too. There is no longer a "but we always" for anything. The holiday season is our oyster. We always make fudge, we always, make cookies, we always wear silly sweatshirts, we always wrap the night before Christmas, we always eat too much, we always ask mom if what we're wearing to Christmas dinner is okay.....those are all there. But this year we continue to embrace the new and the changes and the surprises.

Next year, as I blend my family with my bf's kids and their traditions, I know my holiday season will change again. I'm okay with that. We will shift celebration days, share meals with new family members and learn how to juggle time with all the different sides of the family. We might even have everyone over to London and spend the season there!

There might not be any more "but we always" but there will forever be lots of "sure, why nots".

Happy Christmas!!