I am so scared I am going to forget him eventually. I'm going to forget how he smells. What he sounds like. How it feels to have him be a live next to me. I just want to make sure to get the best out of him that I can while he is here.
I can't seem to stop crying. I cried in front of him for the first time since the diagnosis. He said that now is the time to cry. I don't even know what to do with myself. Can't seem to be more than five feet away from him. He's sleeping in the bed behind me and I just want to be awake and soak in all of him. I am running out of time and I don't know what to do with myself. I just know the end is coming and that scares the hell out of me.
1 comment:
I am so sorry for you and your dads pain. Gain strength in the fact that you are able to spend these last days with him. There is much to be gained from this experience. When your Dad knows you are ready then, he will probably go. Be strong. Weep. Take advantage of the hospice nurses...they are a great resource. Use them. Say what you want to say. It's okay to be sad and yet be less sad when the end has come. You are doing the right thing. There is no wrong. Take care of yourself.
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