The Opposite of a "Cute-Meet"

Last night I went out with some friends to see a cabaret. The show was wonderful. It was touching and funny and reached deep into us as an audience and gave us something to believe in. I am always so happy to see my friends do what they love. However, because it’s my life, it couldn’t be just a night of live theater. There had to be some puzzle piece of intriuge. And I found it.

The cabaret was held at a theater in OC that is becoming more prominent in my world as I meet more actors and producers. One of the boys I’ve met this past year does a lot of shows there. I know this because I see him check in on 4square and on fb. (My stalking skills are amazing!) I’ll admit there was a part of me that truly hoped he would be there. I’ve spent time painting this amazing picture of him in my head, creating a god-like vision of a man who didn’t call me the morning after. We didn’t go all the way, obviously, but enough that when I drove home the next morning I thought for sure I would see him again. Apparently he thought differently, considering I never heard from him. Okay- I can handle that. It happens. Taking that into consideration, I’m not sure why this guy is even a part of my mentality. He doesn’t deserve it. However, he has been and I thought if I saw him I would be able to put the entire event to rest.

I walk into the lobby and of course zero in on him. My first thought? “Really Amie? THIS is who you were upset didn’t call you?” First off- he’s a baby! So young. And while my ego is pleased that I can still snag the cute ones, the adult in me is glad I don’t have to dress him. Secondly- he’s not as cute as I remember. Maybe because I’m sober when I see him this time. You know how some people get even more attractive the more you don’t see them? Then there are people who seem to get uglier as the days pass. He definitely did not get more attractive and he’s definitely not a god. He’s just…..a guy. Thirdly - he completely ignores me. No smile, no nod of hello, not even a faint blush and an embarassed turn away. I spend a few minutes saying hello to my friends, positioning myself so he gets a view of my outfit, my legs and flowing hair. I hug my friends extra hard as one by one I realize my strength comes from them and not the random boy in the corner.

He and I finally smile as the doors open and we head into the theater, but it’s obvious he is ackward and not sure what to do with me. Especially since I say hi to the woman (girl) he is now dating and make sure to introduce myself to his friends. You’re not going to get me down! No sir.

The biggest eye opener? The moment I hammered the final nail in the coffin of my obsessing? Later that night, on my way back to my table at the bar, I pass by him and make small talk. Nothing crazy or sexual or flirty. Just a conversation aknowledging we are in the same room together and have a history. He can’t even look me in the eye. He looks over my shoulder, gives me two word answers and just generally looks uncomfortable. While I continue my asinine conversation with him all I can think is, “Really?!!? I’ve seen you naked and you can’t even PRETEND to be interested in what I’m talking about?!” Amateur.

So how do I pay him back? I have a long conversation with his new girlfriend, right next to him. A much longer conversation than was needed. We talked theater and the cabaret and life and shopping and…..well just everything girls talk about. All while he sat at the bar, sweating, waiting for me to make my exit. I did, finally, and went back to my table of people. People I wouldn’t trade anything for. People who constantly remind me that I am enough. I am a strong, confident, empowered woman who cannot spend any more time dwelling on men who don't see that. Seeing the boy reminded me of that.

It’s the small moments, really, that show us the people who are worth our time and those who are really not. I’m glad I can confidently remove him from my list. (And Facebook. And 4Square) Now, if I can only get rid of a few more I will be all set.