Yesterday I got a temporary crown put on my top left molar. That makes a total of 2 temps, one on each side of my mouth. Instructions while wearing temporary crowns include no eating anything crunchy (popcorn, chips, raw veggies, nuts), no eating anything hard, no eating anything chewy (taffy, gum, gummies, licorice, etc) and nothing I think will pull the temporary off. Being an extremist about things, I decided to go totally soft foods- no chewing at all. Plus it’s easier for me to just go all out. I’m not good with moderation. The pain of the procedure might also have something to do with it. My mouth still hurts from Friday’s visit and when I attempted chewing soft cheese on one of the sides I flinched in pain. So no chewing it is.
I thought to myself, lying there in pain, drooling and waiting for the mold to set, “What a great time to lose these extra stubborn lbs and I’ll blog about it!” It’s only two weeks and I’m sure I’m not the only one in the world who has had to live like this. So for the next two weeks I will write every day and talk about the day, how I handled my routine with this huge change, what I ate, and how I’m feeling about it.
Yesterday (Monday) I left the dentist’s office feeling like I’d been hit by a bus. The entire left side of my face was numb with the Novocain and I was exhausted from sitting the chair for over 2 hours, cold and tense. Harry Potter is tge only thing that saved me. I went back to work and sat at my desk, fairly miserable for the rest of the day. I didn’t eat anything until around 2p, when I slurped down a yogurt and a hot (lukewarm) chocolate. By the time I got to my car to drive to rehearsal I was even more tired, and starving. My drive to rehearsal, which is 23 miles away, takes about an hour with mild traffic. (One more reason to get OUT of Los Angeles, but that’s a different story.) I usually make my dinner and eat it as I drive- a sandwich, veggies and dip, almonds and string cheese. Something to keep my mind busy while I sit stalled on the freeway. Yesterday I ate peanut butter. Small spoonful after small spoonful of organic creamy peanut butter. And it worked! I was full, wasn’t bored and didn’t hurt my teeth. At break during rehearsal I tried to eat some veggie soup. No luck. Even the softened veggies were too much to take on. I drank as much broth as possible and then dumped it. I knew I would have to head to the grocery store and rethink, and rebudget, my food for the week.
I went to Ralph’s on the way home. Thank goodness for 24 hour stores! I walked around the store, hungry, and kept having to pull myself away from anything I would have to chew. It's not an easy task. Nor a cheap one. I filled my cart with four large protein smoothies, 5 yogurts, 3 tubs of ready to eat mashed potatoes, tomato soup and frozen yogurt. $55 later, I was set at least for four days. Not a cheap diet to be on. I ate one of the yogurts in the parking lot before I left. It’s now midnight and going for 6 hours without eating is never a good idea. I got home and had a small serving of frozen yogurt to quench my still growling stomach and then went to sleep.
Day 2:
Woke up this morning and weighed myself. A healthy 164lbs. Too much for my frame, even considering the extra weight of toned muscles. Have to lose this belly so my already high risk of heart disease doesn’t get any worse. I had a smoothie for breakfast and then again for my snack. Things are actually going alright. I have 3 more hours of work to go and then rehearsal. I had a non-fat, plain greek yogurt with honey for lunch and a glass of V-8 low sodium veggie juice. I’ll have a hot chocolate and coffee at about 3p, some jello (I work at a hospital and jello is always available), the frosting off a cupcake at my good friends’ afternoon birthday celebration and then one of the mashed potato tubs to entertain me for the drive home. Not ideal meal, but it’s going to taste sooooo good.
Tonight I’m also going for a 45 minute run, so we’ll see how I feel after that. I’m taking my now veggie-less soup to eat as my snack during rehearsal and I still have the jar of peanut butter sitting in my passenger seat for the drive home. I’ll do swimmingly.
The goal for these two weeks:
- Not chew anything so my teeth have a fighting chance to heal and get ready for the permanent crowns
- Eat healthy and keep the low-no dairy and low-no sugar
- Watch how my body reacts to the no chewing diet. Is my tummy happier? Do I stay full longer? Do I have more bowel movements? Less?
- Lose at least a few pounds of honest to goodness weight, not water weight
- Not lose any friends or co-workers with my inability to maintain a conversation because all I want to do is chew on something
- Prove to the nay-sayers in my life that I CAN follow doctor orders and I will succeed in this
I’m always excited for new challenges and I LOVE a goal. Two weeks is totally doable. Even adding in training for my marathon and teching, then opening, a vocally difficult show, I know I can go these weeks without chewing anything.
Long live mashed potatoes and pudding!!
Tuesday, July 27, 2010
Wednesday, July 7, 2010
Biological what?
This weekend I went home and held the new baby. A lot. I also got to hang out with my 13-yr-old sister a lot. She continues to amaze me with her personality and her genuine niceness. She is a good girl. She's a good addition to this world. With everything she has been through (divorce, dad’s death, and drama with the step-sister) she continues to amaze me with her positive outlook on life, her love of people and her desire to do good in this world.
Between those two things (baby and teenager) I got a flash of desire I haven’t had before- to raise a good child. I saw myself as a mom in a house with a kid and a dog and family dinners and life lessons. I saw myself sitting in an audience at their graduation. I saw myself sitting in the pews at their wedding. I saw myself as a grandmother, making macaroni pictures and clay horse sculptures. I have never had those images flash through my mind before. And I have never been so at ease with the thought before.
In years past I have not wanted children for a number of reasons. I don’t believe in putting more stress onto our environment. That’s a big one. I always said I would adopt a baby when the time came. I didn’t want the pressure of being responsible for another life. I didn’t want the hard life of never knowing what was going to happen and worrying every second of my life. But mostly I didn’t want to have a child because I didn’t want to see the life I wanted to live be played out in another person’s life. I know that is selfish. It’s totally selfish. But it’s true. I want to go to college again. I want to have my first boyfriend and my first date and my first “promise ring” again. I want to have that freedom of the world being at my finger tips and I just need to go get it. I didn’t want to see someone else get the life I wanted.
Isn’t that just silly? Kids add to life. Families enrich life. My family is why I can’t seem to make up my mind what I want to do with my life. The bond I have to my family is what keeps me in California, keeps me close to home and keeps me driving up and down the state all year long. My family is what brings me to tears at night when I’m lying alone and questioning what the hell I’m doing. My family is also the support that I need to be able to go do what I want. The support I have when I feel like I have nothing. And growing that family, being closer to that family, is the most important thing to me.
So, the biological clock? The thing I thought was a myth and that I would be able to silence the call? Not so much. I feel the pull. I feel the desire to share my life with someone. I probably won’t have a child because of the reasons I stated before. I have a lot I want to do in this life. There is a whole world I want to see. I want my MFA and my MBA and a good job and a dog and a home. But the ticking is getting harder to silence as the years go by and I realize that time is running out. There’s no other way to think about that. And harder to silence as I realize that maybe the life I think I want will only be enhanced when I have someone to love so fully my heart explodes. Then I’ll help them pick out the best colleges and date the right people.
Between those two things (baby and teenager) I got a flash of desire I haven’t had before- to raise a good child. I saw myself as a mom in a house with a kid and a dog and family dinners and life lessons. I saw myself sitting in an audience at their graduation. I saw myself sitting in the pews at their wedding. I saw myself as a grandmother, making macaroni pictures and clay horse sculptures. I have never had those images flash through my mind before. And I have never been so at ease with the thought before.
In years past I have not wanted children for a number of reasons. I don’t believe in putting more stress onto our environment. That’s a big one. I always said I would adopt a baby when the time came. I didn’t want the pressure of being responsible for another life. I didn’t want the hard life of never knowing what was going to happen and worrying every second of my life. But mostly I didn’t want to have a child because I didn’t want to see the life I wanted to live be played out in another person’s life. I know that is selfish. It’s totally selfish. But it’s true. I want to go to college again. I want to have my first boyfriend and my first date and my first “promise ring” again. I want to have that freedom of the world being at my finger tips and I just need to go get it. I didn’t want to see someone else get the life I wanted.
Isn’t that just silly? Kids add to life. Families enrich life. My family is why I can’t seem to make up my mind what I want to do with my life. The bond I have to my family is what keeps me in California, keeps me close to home and keeps me driving up and down the state all year long. My family is what brings me to tears at night when I’m lying alone and questioning what the hell I’m doing. My family is also the support that I need to be able to go do what I want. The support I have when I feel like I have nothing. And growing that family, being closer to that family, is the most important thing to me.
So, the biological clock? The thing I thought was a myth and that I would be able to silence the call? Not so much. I feel the pull. I feel the desire to share my life with someone. I probably won’t have a child because of the reasons I stated before. I have a lot I want to do in this life. There is a whole world I want to see. I want my MFA and my MBA and a good job and a dog and a home. But the ticking is getting harder to silence as the years go by and I realize that time is running out. There’s no other way to think about that. And harder to silence as I realize that maybe the life I think I want will only be enhanced when I have someone to love so fully my heart explodes. Then I’ll help them pick out the best colleges and date the right people.
Wednesday, June 30, 2010
Closing of half the year
Tomorrow is July 1st, meaning today is the final day of June. It is also the final day of the 6th month, giving us 6 whole months of 2010 left. 181 days down, 184 days left. About halfway. In my years I have come to realize that the second half of the year goes significantly faster than the first half, meaning I don’t have much time left to celebrate the glory that is 2010.
In the first six months of this year I have received my certification for massage, performed in 2 plays (currently rehearsing for my third), paid off $7000 of my debt, taken three massage classes and am currently studying online in my marketing class. I have paid off my Greece trip (except airfare) and I have lost two inches around my waist. No weight loss, but inches lost. I consistently worked a 40+ hour week and kept myself out of trouble….for the most part. 2010 has been a wonderful year so far, as I continue to push myself to be better and do better. I am proud of what I have done and the path that I am on to do more.
As my good friend Jess says- I am being proactive and I am working toward something.
Here are what my 2010 New Years Resolutions are and let’s see if I have kept to them.
- No fast food.
o I have stuck to this. I have not been to a drive through or eaten food from any fast food chain. I have eaten crap- don’t get me wrong. But no McD’s, Taco Bell, Del Taco, Burger King, etc. This is a resolution I am so happy I did and I am so proud that I have stuck to. I feel good and I now know that it is possible to live without fast food. For those people out there who say “I could never” listen to this- YES YOU CAN! There are thousands of options that don’t include genetically modified food that comes from a freezer. You can do it!
- Watch a new movie every week
o I have kind of done this. I get Netflix every month and unlimited watching on the computer. I also go to the library and get movies to watch at home. Add all that in and I have watched a new movie every week. Some better than others and some I wish I hadn’t wasted the 45 minutes on. Because that’s what a movie gets from me. You have 45 minutes to interest me. If I feel compelled to turn the movie off, I will. Usually I don’t but having this “rule” allows me to not feel bad when a movie is just horrible!
- Hit the gym 5 times a week.
o I have done this as well as I can. The resolution should have been “Work out 5 times a week” because I have done that. When I did the boot camp, I didn’t go to the gym, but I did work out. Doing The Follies I don’t go to the gym but I do work out, including a 30 min stretch and warm up before every show. So giving those parameters, I have kept this resolution.
- One letter mailed every week
o I have not kept up with this one. I don’t think I have even written more than 10 letters this whole six months. And I don’t like that about myself. I want to be more interactive with the people in my life. On the one hand, I am because facebook allows me to keep up with so many people at all hours of the day. On the other hand, that’s not a hand written letter to someone, giving them my full attention. I can do better.
The resolutions are going strong and I will continue with them. I will not eat fast food, continue to watch movies weekly, continue to work out 5x a week and I will write one letter a week and mail it out.
Here are the goals I wrote down for 2010
- Pay off entire debt
- Repay myself for Massage School costs
- Book a ship dancing or singing
- Apply for MFA (Nov)
- Book continuous shows
- Edit movie reel
- Get new headshots
- Record MTones Christmas album
- Record own Christmas album
- Apply for a Grammy
- Write lounge act for Vegas/cabaret
- Get down to 145lbs
- Get a dog and start training for agility trials
Those are great goals. And some of them I have attained. I have booked continuous shows since the first of the year, I am working my ass off to pay down my debt and get down to 145 lbs. I am going to keep these goals because I believe they are all still attainable. And I am going to add a few more now that I see where I am in the year.
- Raise $3000 through ALM for American Heart Association during the Long Beach 1/2 Marathon in October (www.actinglikemarathoners.webs.com)
- Finish Greece marathon in under 5:15
- Blog five times a week on both my blogs
- Get an A in my summer marketing class and an A average in my 4 classes this fall
- Take the GMAT and score above a 600
- Apply to schools for MBA/MFA program
- De-clutter house and maintain better organization/cleanliness
- Return to vegan diet
- Move to new apartment
- Get a new day job that makes me happy
- Open a savings account for Daniel, Jonathan and Emily- depositing $10/month each
I am proud of myself for what I have accomplished so far in 2010. I am proud of the person I am and the relationships I have. I am working hard to be a better entertainer, a better daughter, a better sister, a better aunt, a better friend and a better human on this earth. I am on a path and I know it’s a good one. This is a good life I have for myself. And it can only get better.
In the first six months of this year I have received my certification for massage, performed in 2 plays (currently rehearsing for my third), paid off $7000 of my debt, taken three massage classes and am currently studying online in my marketing class. I have paid off my Greece trip (except airfare) and I have lost two inches around my waist. No weight loss, but inches lost. I consistently worked a 40+ hour week and kept myself out of trouble….for the most part. 2010 has been a wonderful year so far, as I continue to push myself to be better and do better. I am proud of what I have done and the path that I am on to do more.
As my good friend Jess says- I am being proactive and I am working toward something.
Here are what my 2010 New Years Resolutions are and let’s see if I have kept to them.
- No fast food.
o I have stuck to this. I have not been to a drive through or eaten food from any fast food chain. I have eaten crap- don’t get me wrong. But no McD’s, Taco Bell, Del Taco, Burger King, etc. This is a resolution I am so happy I did and I am so proud that I have stuck to. I feel good and I now know that it is possible to live without fast food. For those people out there who say “I could never” listen to this- YES YOU CAN! There are thousands of options that don’t include genetically modified food that comes from a freezer. You can do it!
- Watch a new movie every week
o I have kind of done this. I get Netflix every month and unlimited watching on the computer. I also go to the library and get movies to watch at home. Add all that in and I have watched a new movie every week. Some better than others and some I wish I hadn’t wasted the 45 minutes on. Because that’s what a movie gets from me. You have 45 minutes to interest me. If I feel compelled to turn the movie off, I will. Usually I don’t but having this “rule” allows me to not feel bad when a movie is just horrible!
- Hit the gym 5 times a week.
o I have done this as well as I can. The resolution should have been “Work out 5 times a week” because I have done that. When I did the boot camp, I didn’t go to the gym, but I did work out. Doing The Follies I don’t go to the gym but I do work out, including a 30 min stretch and warm up before every show. So giving those parameters, I have kept this resolution.
- One letter mailed every week
o I have not kept up with this one. I don’t think I have even written more than 10 letters this whole six months. And I don’t like that about myself. I want to be more interactive with the people in my life. On the one hand, I am because facebook allows me to keep up with so many people at all hours of the day. On the other hand, that’s not a hand written letter to someone, giving them my full attention. I can do better.
The resolutions are going strong and I will continue with them. I will not eat fast food, continue to watch movies weekly, continue to work out 5x a week and I will write one letter a week and mail it out.
Here are the goals I wrote down for 2010
- Pay off entire debt
- Repay myself for Massage School costs
- Book a ship dancing or singing
- Apply for MFA (Nov)
- Book continuous shows
- Edit movie reel
- Get new headshots
- Record MTones Christmas album
- Record own Christmas album
- Apply for a Grammy
- Write lounge act for Vegas/cabaret
- Get down to 145lbs
- Get a dog and start training for agility trials
Those are great goals. And some of them I have attained. I have booked continuous shows since the first of the year, I am working my ass off to pay down my debt and get down to 145 lbs. I am going to keep these goals because I believe they are all still attainable. And I am going to add a few more now that I see where I am in the year.
- Raise $3000 through ALM for American Heart Association during the Long Beach 1/2 Marathon in October (www.actinglikemarathoners.webs.com)
- Finish Greece marathon in under 5:15
- Blog five times a week on both my blogs
- Get an A in my summer marketing class and an A average in my 4 classes this fall
- Take the GMAT and score above a 600
- Apply to schools for MBA/MFA program
- De-clutter house and maintain better organization/cleanliness
- Return to vegan diet
- Move to new apartment
- Get a new day job that makes me happy
- Open a savings account for Daniel, Jonathan and Emily- depositing $10/month each
I am proud of myself for what I have accomplished so far in 2010. I am proud of the person I am and the relationships I have. I am working hard to be a better entertainer, a better daughter, a better sister, a better aunt, a better friend and a better human on this earth. I am on a path and I know it’s a good one. This is a good life I have for myself. And it can only get better.
Tuesday, June 29, 2010
Almost a wasted day
Today at work I sat. And sat. And then sat some more. However, sprinkled in with all the sitting I did get some things done.
- I read rescue stories on PetFinder and dreamed of when I get a dog.
- I took the quiz for Chapter 1 in my marketing and promotions class. I love this class. It's all about how companies build their marketing to promote their product. More and more I'm realizing that this is something I would like to do and will actually be good at.
- I submitted my resume to six jobs I feel I would be good at. I don't have any marketing or public relations experience, but I'm certain I could succeed in the field.
- I looked at cabins to rent for a week in August up at Big Bear.
- I pulled more information on Grad schools and MBAs. More and more I am leaning towards Chapman which offers an international MBA where I'd study in Prague for 6mos. (more on that later)
- I watched three episodes of 'Southern Belles of Louisville'. Good times. And I wondered how they got their make up so flawless and their hair so straight.
So not totally a wasted day. Plus there was cake!
- I read rescue stories on PetFinder and dreamed of when I get a dog.
- I took the quiz for Chapter 1 in my marketing and promotions class. I love this class. It's all about how companies build their marketing to promote their product. More and more I'm realizing that this is something I would like to do and will actually be good at.
- I submitted my resume to six jobs I feel I would be good at. I don't have any marketing or public relations experience, but I'm certain I could succeed in the field.
- I looked at cabins to rent for a week in August up at Big Bear.
- I pulled more information on Grad schools and MBAs. More and more I am leaning towards Chapman which offers an international MBA where I'd study in Prague for 6mos. (more on that later)
- I watched three episodes of 'Southern Belles of Louisville'. Good times. And I wondered how they got their make up so flawless and their hair so straight.
So not totally a wasted day. Plus there was cake!
Monday, June 21, 2010
New baby time!
My nephew was born Friday here in Sacramento. He is perfect. When my sister had baby#1 I was worried about losing her to the kid. To being a mom. To her own family. Then I met him and fell so madly in love I couldn't stand it. He was amazing and added so much to my life. I know that this new boy will do the same.
I am so proud of my sister for bringing in a healthy, happy boy to this world. She's healthy and other than the soreness she's doing fine.
I love my sister so much. She's given me another glorious nephew an I could not be happier for our family.
I am so proud of my sister for bringing in a healthy, happy boy to this world. She's healthy and other than the soreness she's doing fine.
I love my sister so much. She's given me another glorious nephew an I could not be happier for our family.
Thursday, June 17, 2010
Small Comparisons
Today I watched three different sitcoms on hulu.com.
One friend walked along the streets of Paris and drank french wine.
Today I took a nap in my car during my lunch.
Another friend painted the womens center at her church in Dominica.
Today I read about becoming a flight attendant in an effort to dream about a new life.
One friend auditioned for a national tour.
Today I ate cold refried beans and salsa because they were free.
Another friend spent the day on her boat.
Today I sat at a desk for 9 hours, got into a tiff with a coworker over nothing of consequence and made five pots of coffee.
I have a friend who is in Italy for two weeks on vacation.
I'm going to get out of this job. I'm going to live a more exciting life. I'm going to make something of myself.
Today I get to go to the theater and sing and dance in one of the best shows on the circuit right now. No one else has had the day I have had. And, all things considered, it was a good one.
One friend walked along the streets of Paris and drank french wine.
Today I took a nap in my car during my lunch.
Another friend painted the womens center at her church in Dominica.
Today I read about becoming a flight attendant in an effort to dream about a new life.
One friend auditioned for a national tour.
Today I ate cold refried beans and salsa because they were free.
Another friend spent the day on her boat.
Today I sat at a desk for 9 hours, got into a tiff with a coworker over nothing of consequence and made five pots of coffee.
I have a friend who is in Italy for two weeks on vacation.
I'm going to get out of this job. I'm going to live a more exciting life. I'm going to make something of myself.
Today I get to go to the theater and sing and dance in one of the best shows on the circuit right now. No one else has had the day I have had. And, all things considered, it was a good one.
Wednesday, June 16, 2010
2 days to baby time!
My sister is pregnant with baby #2 and she's due to deliver this Friday. I have been unable to do anything but think about her for days now. Nephew #2!!! I can barely stand it!
My sister is one of the most amazing women in the world, second only to my mother. The fact that she's going to be the mother of two makes my heart sing. Those are two lucky boys.
I live Cristin so very much. My heart breaks a little at the fact that my dad isn't physically here. I know he's watching from heaven and as been holding her hand every step of the way. But his presence is missed even more when amazing things like this happen. I know she misses him.
Baby #2!!! Pictures will be posted later in the week.
The world is about to get so much better.
My sister is one of the most amazing women in the world, second only to my mother. The fact that she's going to be the mother of two makes my heart sing. Those are two lucky boys.
I live Cristin so very much. My heart breaks a little at the fact that my dad isn't physically here. I know he's watching from heaven and as been holding her hand every step of the way. But his presence is missed even more when amazing things like this happen. I know she misses him.
Baby #2!!! Pictures will be posted later in the week.
The world is about to get so much better.
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