A Bejeweled Depression

Sunday I stayed in bed all day and slept. I should have weeded and cleaned and packed and maybe even eaten. But I didn’t. I slept.

Yesterday I stayed in bed all day and slept. I called in to work and spent the day in and out of dreamless sleep. No eating. No drinking. Nothing but sleep until rehearsal.

Today I went to work. And after catching up on all the “work” I had missed last week when I was away with my family on vacation (which consisted of 11 emails I have nothing to do with and 2 voicemails I have nothing to do with....I was gone for six days), I sat at my desk and played Bejeweled. For an hour.

An hour.

Here is a list of things I could have done instead:
- gone online and researched places to live in UK
- Emailed my advisor about how to get my visa and the steps I need to start working on
- Gone through my mutual fund and looked at stocks I’d like to diversify with
- Email my cousin and tell her about my upcoming move
- Gone on facebook and replied to everyone who has posted after a comment or on my wall
- Balanced my bank account
- Updated my calendar to include my new weekend plans
- Built a grocery list so I have food and can stop eating 7-Eleven taquitos
- Looked up flight prices for the trips I am taking in August
- Done an hour of stretching and abs
- Taken a walk
- Memorized lines from Seussical or Into the Woods
- Written in my journal about the Disney trip we just had
- Written an amazing blog about the changes coming into my life.

But no I spent it playing Bejeweled. Because my heart hurts and that’s all I want to do lately. I want to either be sleeping or mindlessly lining up gems and listening to them explode. I want to be sleeping or destroying. I don’t want to be productive. I don’t want to be exciting. I don’t want to be forward thinking. I don’t want to be here. I just want to be sleeping.

Or playing Bejeweled.