Last night I went to the Employee Recognition Awards dinner for the hospital. I worked it, actually, but I still got to see the people and watch them be recognized for their length of service. One woman has been working here for 45 years.
45 YEARS!!!
Continuously. She took her maternity leave for her five children, but always came back. She plugs along in the lab every day, comes to work religiously and makes the most of her time here. She has been working here longer than I can even wrap my head around.
It, or course, gave me pause. Next month I will celebrate my one year working at this desk. I was a temp for 10 months and now I am an actual employee. A week from today I get benefits. $50 every paycheck goes into my retirement account. I pay a lot more in taxes because I’m in a different income bracket, making me actually earn less than I did as a temp even though I make more hourly. That’s messed up! But it’s a job and I come here 40+ hours a week and I do work and I go home. I don’t take the stress home with me and I don’t worry about the hospital when I’m not here. I don’t have a blackberry to keep track of me and I don’t take projects home. I am an hourly employee who spends her time wondering what else is out there.
Watching people last night who have worked here 15, 20, 15 even 35 years started to make me think. Do I have it all wrong? Is the point of a job just to show up? I know with unemployment so I high I should be thankful I have a job. Am I am. I truly am. But there is a deep rooted need in me to do more. To make more of my life. To succeed more. Is that the wrong way to look at things? Am I supposed to just be thankful for what I have and keep chugging away? Am I not supposed to strive? Not supposed to try? Not supposed to look behind every corner for the next better thing?
I started to day dream about what my life would look like if I just did this job. I didn’t audition, I didn’t send out resumes, I didn’t go online every day and look for another job. I just did this one. What would I become? Would I still be Amie? Or is part of what makes me “amie” that struggle to be better? Would I eventually find peace? Or would I eventually eat a 9mm? I watched everyone last night look so happy with where they work and what they do. For some it is a job and for others it is their calling.
I guess the question is, when do you just sit thankfully with your job and when do you continue the search for your calling?
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