The Great White Bikini Weight Loss – Thursday

I have run at 5a for the past three mornings. 2 miles, to the ocean and back. I get to say good morning to the ocean every morning, and I love it. Monday I did the weight class and the last night I did a yoga class. Not a fan of this yoga teacher. I have tried yoga many times and I just can’t seem to get that "zen" feeling people talk about. I get frustrated. I feel bored. I don’t see God or meditate. And maybe it’s because I have only ever taken class at a gym. I haven’t taken from a yoga studio where they are there to teach the form and joy of yoga. Perhaps that will be another thing on the list to try.

I am a runner. I love to run. I love to clock off the miles. I love to time myself and try to go faster and be better. I love working on my form and matching my breaths to my steps. I love the freedom of running. I can see myself running every morning until I die. I love it that much. It doesn't bore me. It always challenges me and it makes me feel great. These morning runs are adding good things to my life. This week I kept it at 2 miles only. I might do that all next week too. It’s a good amount of time and it’s a good distance. I will eventually add a mile, just to keep challenging myself. But the challenge right now is getting out of bed and I know I can do 2 miles and accomplish something.

Oh this job. May I just take one moment and say how much I HATE BEING HERE!! I like the people just fine and I know I will stay friends with two of them after I quit. But I cannot stay here. I drive one hour EACH WAY to get to a job where I sit on my ass all day long and don’t change the world. I don’t even alter the world. I am wasting away as I sit here. I can barely get the motivation to do anything. This job is literally pecking away at my soul and I can’t do it anymore. I have my two-week notice date and I am sticking to it. More than one thing in my life will change before this summer begins.

On the food front, I’ve done pretty well. During the workday I keep my hands out of the candy and away from the chips. I didn’t have a burger with everyone today. I have kept under 1400 calories each day and I am eating my veggies and proteins. I did have some sausage the past few nights (and no, not the manly sexy kind) which I’m sure is cheating for some. But for those of us on a budget it works. I had it, I won’t buy it again and I only eat 4oz, portioning out so I don’t eat the whole thing. It is hard to start an eating regiment during PMS week, I’m not going to lie. I would have KILLED someone for pizza last night. And chocolate. And a steak. But I soothe myself with “I can have it Sunday” and the knowledge that I am not going to do myself great harm by not stopping and getting a meatball sandwich from Subway. I will survive. Doesn’t feel like it sometimes, but I am still here and the cravings haven’t killed me yet.

And you? How’d you do in the eating world? Anything fun come into your life this week?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Update: I caved and got Fritos, bean dip and a Snickers ice cream bar today on the way home. Amazingly, when I typed my information into bodybugg.com, I still came in under 1500 calories for the day. I know I need to be stronger, but I couldn't do it! 2 HOURS in traffic, three days of raging hormones and no one to cuddle with. I needed chocolate..... and salt! I hate to blame weakness on something so feminine and basic, but it's the truth. And I know I'm not alone in this.

Tomorrow is a new day and I will be back on the horse. I'm just glad it didn't get any worse.